I open this letter in a generic format a letter to my woman,
not in the sense that the message is generic or insincere. Only within the
meaning that I address this to women in my life thus far and in my egotistical
mind they are all interchangeable.
True I have the good sense God blessed me
with to know when one relationship ends, and a new one begins. They are all the
same, yet all unique. I love you all, the first relationship I have ever had
with a woman was between my God and my mother. Yes, you read correctly I did
say My God. Don’t get it twisted or confused I am not writing this open letter
from me to Women to debate religion or belief. In my understanding of faith,
religion, and life all female beings on Earth give birth to life. The oldest
bones found on Earth were that of a Black woman so in my understanding Woman is
the closest thing to God. Well, that is my assessment. I go back and forwards
within myself with this frame of thinking. I have digressed; my point is this
God like my mother has been a teacher and protector. Coming from a single parent
home it was me, my mom, and my sister. I understand things clearer now as an
adult and parent that she did the best she could with what she had and her understanding
as a young woman. I guess as I write this I question myself as to what is the
core meaning behind me writing this?
I do not have a direct answer for that. I would say perhaps
to get a better understanding of myself and how I view women in general or to
say, thank you for being you. I have always been a bit of a loner all of my
life. I’ve run with different folk’s at various time frames in my life but
always felt a disconnect and during this discourse women have been a filler for
this void. I have a deep admiration and respect for the opposite sex view on
things. You are young and wild in an adult situation with the mental capacity
of a hormonal teenager forced to deal with things that you should not have to
deal with yet you persevere. You are a hustler and survivalist. You are a young
college student striking out on her own strong spirited and opinionated,
independent and naïve.
You are a housewife trapped in a losing relationship with a
man that doesn’t see your value, yet you stay. Your tears are the catalyst for
the words that I type from the heart. You are slick and scandalous a heart
breaker and player out to get hers yet I love you. You are a fool dangerously
in love with a Man-Child yet you love him regardless of his immature ways that
he knows are reckless yet refuses to abandon such actions even at the risk of
losing you. You are passive when need be and walk that delicate line between
being the aggressor and being submissive a balancing act of lioness and sex
kitten. You are a judge and law professor from the wrong side of the tracks.
You are an alcoholic and sexual abuse survivor with a foul mouth and silver
tongue yet I love you. You are a boss and lyricists cutthroat fashionista/diva
and I love it.
More gangster than most men, you are Rah Digga, no your
Angela Davis mixed with Beyonce or Marissa Alexander, who will stand her
ground. Spirit of Karrine Steffans, I will not judge just love unconditional I
will not take verbal shots direct or subliminal. You are Cleo, Stoney, T.T. and
Frankie ready to set it off. I know you are there despite what the media will
have us believe. That you are argumentive sack chasers, that live to slide down
poles. Only show love for those that make it rain for 40 days and 40 nights
like it’s something biblical I look in your eyes and feel your vibe like it’s
something spiritual. You without me leaves an unbalance like it’s something
chemical. I can’t front I sometimes confuse the emotional with the physical. I
love our conversations talking on the phone until the sunrise. You are more
than you realize you are special to me you are my sister and my auntie
grandmother or the lady down the street or up the block around the way girl in
your own world. Yeah, I know you got a man but you still mine is it a crime to praise
you like Sade if we never speak again I’m going love you anyway.
Sincerely from me to you,
Antwan Floyd Sr. is the publisher and author of 10 titles to
date and is a graphic designer. He currently resides in Indianapolis , IN
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