WHAT DEFINES YOU?

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Our self worth…….It’s that main ingredient that makes us strong and a better person. Without it, self-pity can tame our true selves. One question to ponder…..Why do we as humans allow our pain to define us?

Now that I am passionately walking away the pounds, I came to realization after years of feeling sorry for myself; I’ve seriously messed up my inner ME! From self-doubt to self-pity, I went opposite of everything I worked hard to attain; such as, my goals, accomplishing all of the weight I’d lost a few years ago, and most of all, worked hard to love ME again.

I killed all of that after I allowed my depression to get the best of me. For months after I gained back a few pounds, I didn’t look at myself in the mirror. I can’t tell you how long I pretended to be a timid vampire? What I can tell you however; I walked pretty damn fast pass any mirror for a long, long, long time! I feared to see a reflection of a hopeless failure staring back at me; fear to accept the reality, the truth of letting things go I can’t control. When I nibbled, it became my crack cocaine. Grubbing away the pain and stress I woke everyday as a mother, daughter, and caregiver. I wanted to eat every last morsel as if I was eating that pain away to oblivion. Of course, like any euphoric substance, it’s temporary. Although that junk comforted me, once it dissolved back to reality, I was steadily gaining the weight!

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We can smoke, drink, or eat our pain away, but guess what? That same pain will still be there. If the pain involves a past love, guess what? He or She has moved on, and you, permitted them to have all of the power! If the pain involves a job you lost, guess what? You are smart to learn a new skill and move on to new things. Our three pound, squishy brain is a unique organ. It can feel, restore, and attain a serious boat load of knowledge. We can do anything if we all put our squishy brains to it.

As for giving someone else your POWER, we all experience it before. It don’t have to be a person whom you’ve been romantically tied, it could be a co-worker, your boss, a neighbor, a family member, or an idiotic bully from school. Once they see they’ve got to us, they won. They took what we cherish the most….our POWER! And for me, I’ve been there, done that. Whether I want to admit or not, I felt like shit!

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Now this blog isn’t LADIES ONLY! I’ve known fellas who went through Hell and back with bullsh** that went on in their lives; including with a significant other. I have to admit, when my ex went through HELLLLLLLLLL with his now ex-girlfriend, I thought as laugh,“Haaaaaa!!!! Karma is bitch, isn’t it?”  Then years went by, I noticed his unnecessary weight loss became skin and bones; how is character changed from jubilance to despair, and how everything he worked hard suddenly evaporated. I’m sure the mistakes he made in our relationship, he learned from them and tried to move on. I know this because for years, he tried to love someone who couldn’t or wouldn’t love him back like he deserved. I know the feeling.

The point on this blog is BITTERNESS, ANGER, and PITY won’t get us anywhere but more pain and heartache. We’re better than that! We are KINGS and QUEENS of our destiny; the Authors of our own story, and the Painters of our canvasses. Our squishy brains and our fist-size hearts bear our souls that at time can lead to crazy emotions. We can fight it, we can do it, and we can be it!.....So, as I asked earlier, are you going to allow your pain to define you?.....Think about that!

Now, this paragraph is for my 35 and up year old crowd…..Have you thought of that one particular thing you always wanted to do? Did anyone put that cigarette down at least for one day? Did anyone take their fat butts out to walk or jog? Did anyone call their local college to acquire a new skill? Like Ben Stein from Ferris Bueller Day Off…..Anyone?.....Anyone?......I’m pushing this not only for my benefit, but for my nearly-middle aged brothers and sisters! Yes, you!!!!.......Tomorrow is not promised (for any age). We already surrendered tremendous sacrifices for our loved one, now it’s your turn. Whether it’s facing most of our worst nightmare, CLEANING OUR CREDIT {{you know who you are}} or leave that no-good for nothing person who treat you like God didn’t meant for you to be treated…..Time is an unkind enemy that don’t give a damn about our feelings, fight the biological clock and achieve your dreams!


Seriously, anyone?

Okay…..I’m done rambling. It’s time to return back to my “Heaven Bound Series”. I’m writing some parts of two and the last chapter of three. {{Sigh}}} The road acquiring any kind of dreams isn’t easy. Still, if you read my last blog on Facebook, I said this:



It seems now I’m running after the Popsicle Man’s truck to get that “Unique” ice cream bar. Yet, this ice cream bar is everything I always wanted to do……



I’m working on ME, and I did get a sample of that “Unique” ice cream bar. But I want more! I want to try every last flavor on that fast moving truck. And once I reach to my favorite flavor “PINK STRAWBERRY”, I know I did it! {{{Ahem…..I had to pull some metaphor out of the air to end this blog….lol….

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Stay blessed,



Imani


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