J'son M. Lee is the Owner and President of Sweet Georgia Press, a multi-dynamic publishing and editing firm based in
Baltimore, MD. He was born in Lewiston, NC, and resides in Baltimore,
MD, where he enjoys a fulfilling,
yet busy life that includes managing commercial properties, writing books,
editing, food and entertainment, and spending time with loved ones.
Lee is a graduate of the University
of North Carolina at Chapel
Hill, earning a degree in Speech Communication with a
concentration in Performance Studies. He is a multiple award-winning author who
creates works that challenge the notion of normalcy. Most recently he was named
2013 Author of the Year by SGL BOOKLOVERS magazine. With his pen, he seeks to
broaden minds and reinforce the universality of love. With wit and a gift for
narrative, he creates characters that will speak to your heart. His works include Just
Tryin' To Be Loved, How Could My Husband Be GAY?, the "Friends or Lovers" short story series (Best Friends, More Than Friends and Can't
Be Friends), love One (short story), and One Family's AIDS (short
story).
Courtesy of jmcoylee.com
Imani: J’son, you’re
well-loved and respected among our peers, and I’m sure many of them are
familiar with your background. But share with us, what makes J’son M. Lee the
man he is today?
J’son: Imani, first of all,
thank you for this opportunity, and thank you for those kind words. What makes me the man I am today? That’s a great question. I think the answer is quite simply my
experiences—mainly the bad ones. I’ve
been very candid about my upbringing, and those things shaped the person you
see today. They made me stronger. They made me better. They kept me honest. They made me push harder, and want more. There are times that I wish my
life—especially my childhood—had been different, but I continue to believe that
God doesn’t make mistakes. I am exactly
where I am supposed to be and who I am supposed to be.
Your debut novel, Just Tryin’ to be Loved, was an awesome
read. I loved it! So share with the readers, what inspired you to write a
compelling story?
I wrote this story for
selfish reasons—to release a lot of the pain and disappointment I experienced
in my own life as it relates to acceptance, love, and relationships. There is a
lot of similarity between me and the main character, Mark Harris. Mark’s views
on love—and life in general—mirror my own.
Despite everything that’s happened in my life, I am still a hopeless
romantic. I hope this book makes people believe in themselves and believe in
love.
Just Tryin’ To Be Loved has some very colorful characters, most of which are
based on people I know. My favorite
character was Gramma’. The relationship
Mark has with his grandmother is the relationship I had with my own grandmother,
Georgia Lee (who is also my company’s namesake). In reading the book, I hope you will see my
love for her and the wonderful lessons she taught me.
What about the
development of the characters, were there any challenges of creating them?
I think this project was the
only one where there weren’t challenges with character development. I remember sitting in my dining room and
literally having conversations with and between the characters. They were all so real to me. I heard their voices. I knew their thoughts. They literally guided my hands through the
process.
One of your
characters I found intriguing was Mark's grandmother. I knew when reading this book this character was personal for you. So, tell us more about your 'Gramma' -- Miss Georgia?
My grandmother was an amazing
woman, and I wanted to capture her essence and pay tribute to her in this
work. She never got to read the book, but
she did read the acknowledgments. I
remember sitting in her living room in North Carolina as she held the book in
her tiny hands. She was very proud of
me. “I can’t read all dese words, but I
read what you said about me. That was
very nice,” she said. That alone was all
the validation I needed as a writer.
Let’s talk about your
writing process: are you character-driven by allowing your characters to guide
you? Or taming the storyline by being plot-driven?
I’d have to say that I am
character-driven. Most times the
characters dictate the story. I
typically don’t begin writing knowing where a story is going to go. I just relax into it and let it unfold. My characters have a mind of their own. I will say that there are times that I
literally skip chapters because a character has advanced the story well beyond
where the other characters exist. In
those times, I simply go where I’m told and then go back and fill in the
gaps. It’s a crazy process, but it seems
to work.
You’ve also written
books centered around social issues; such as, LGBT romance, HIV/AIDS, and
sexual abuse. Why are these topics important to you?
I try to be as authentic as
possible in my writing. In staying true
to who I am, I often write about things that I know or things that I’m
passionate about. You’ve mentioned a
number of those things above. I am a gay
man who believes in love, so I write LGBT romance. I have lost a friends and family to
complications of HIV/AIDS, so I want to pay tribute to them and make people
aware of this disease. HIV/AIDS is not
the death sentence it used to be.
Lastly, I’m very transparent about my own experience with sexual
abuse. I was in therapy for many years
dealing with the repercussions of abuse.
Many people never seek help. I
write about abuse to let people know how it effects the victim, and to raise
awareness. I love children. Sexual abuse is one of the most traumatic
experiences a child can endure. They
deserve better. They deserve to be
children.
I know you're living
the life that some dream of having, but when you first 'came out", what
was the reception you've received from your family and friends? And how is it
now?
I'd like to say that coming out was a positive experience,
but quite frankly it wasn't. When it's been ingrained in you since early
childhood that you are an abomination and going to hell, it's hard to reverse
the effects of those teachings. Coming out for me was a long
process. I didn't come to terms with my sexuality until I was well into
my 30s. In the process, I had varying reactions and emotions. My
mother found out when I was in high school, and outed me to my entire family
out her own hurt and anger. She looked in my face and said, "If you
want to be a woman, then be one. Why hide it?" Many people, my
mother included, think that being gay is about wanting to be the opposite
sex. That is the furthest from the truth for me. I love being a
man; I just happen to also love men. The remainder of my family never
really talked about my sexuality, and I was fine with that.
Fast forward a few years...I was a college graduate and
living on my own. To this day, many of my family members remain silent
on my sexuality. They all know, but there's never a conversation
about who I'm dating or anything like that. I think a large part of that
has to do with my perceived success. I'm from a small town, and in their
minds I've "made it." I think there is some intimidation on
their part. They know how vocal I am, and dare not say anything
to incite me. On the other hand, there are a few family
members who are fine with my sexuality and love me unconditionally.
I've been blessed to have friends who love me for who I
am. I do feel that I have to compartmentalize my friends. As I
said, I have some who love me for who I am, and then there are others who feel
it is a choice and that I can be delivered from this somehow. I used to
readily discard folk who believed this way, but it was such a waste of
energy. We simply agree to disagree. The way I see it, they have
two choices—love me, or leave me. I'm not changing. I'm comfortable
in my own skin. I'm openly gay, and very vocal about it. I will continue
to be vocal until sexuality becomes a non-issue.
Your much
anticipated, upcoming novel, Darkness,
has already gripped my attention. For those who don’t know, share a little
sneak peek of this important novel.
Imani, if I’m honest, this
project is a struggle. I’ve had the idea
for a few years now, but have yet to put anything on paper. When that happens, I simply have to wait
until I’m directed. I know it’s
something that I will complete, but I don’t know the premise or when. All I know is that Darkness will be a book about my own struggle with depression. Recently I wrote an article for Proud Times about my experience. I’ll share a portion of that with you:
At a glance, I have the ideal
life: I am a Senior Property Manager at
the largest owner/manager of commercial properties in the Washington, DC
region. I own my own editing firm, and
have a thriving writing career. I own my
own home; I drive a luxury car. I also
have some of the greatest friends any person could ask for. While I seem to have the life that many would
dream of, there are times when I am overcome with sadness. Often during these times, I find myself
crying for no apparent reason.
My symptoms first surfaced
when my mother unexpectedly passed away.
I have always been the person whom everyone in my family relied on to
handle business. When my grandmother
died in 2006, I assumed the role relegated to me. The same was expected when my mother passed
away three years later. After the
funeral, I returned to Maryland—business as usual. I had moments of sadness as I grieved the
loss of my mother, but something was different.
I’d suffered loss before, but this pain went beyond loss. I cried for no reason. I found excuses to not be social. I would stay in bed all weekend with the
curtains drawn.
One day as I was driving in
to work, tears began to stream down my face.
I couldn’t figure out why I was crying.
I decided to see a therapist. At
our appointment, I shared with her all I was going through. “J’son, you have endured great loss. I would like to suggest that you see your
primary care physician. I think you need
something to take the edge off of what you’re feeling as you work through your
pain,” she said. I was completely
against medication. I didn’t want to
walk around like a zombie. After all,
only crazy people took medication, right?
At my doctor’s appointment, I
tried to hide my sadness, but my doctor saw through it. He insisted something was wrong because I
wasn’t my usual “smiley” self. I finally
shared with him that I had recently lost my mother, and that I was feeling
unusually sad. I also shared with him
what my therapist had said. He praised
me for going to therapy, and for the first time the word “depression” was used…
I want to continue on
the subject of depression. Explain to the readers on how debilitating the
illness is, and why “praying-it-away” isn’t that simple?
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Let me begin by saying that I
believe my faith coupled with therapy is the reason I am able to cope with my
depression. The faith-based community
would have you believe that you can pray everything away. I am not of the same mindset. I think that mentality is killing
people. Prayer is one of the most
powerful weapons we have, but there’s a lot to be said for therapy and medicine
(if warranted). Depression, especially
in the black community, is like a dirty little secret. We need to get beyond this stigma if we are
going to heal ourselves. We are taught
not to tell our business, so we often don’t seek therapy for our issues. Further, black people tend to have a lot of
fears surrounding medication. Let’s be
real, we have every right to be as evidenced by the Tuskegee syphilis
experiment, for example. Historically,
we don’t trust medication, and we don’t trust white folks to prescribe it to
us. I believe God led me to my
therapist, and I’m a huge proponent of therapy, and medicine when needed. I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve utilized
both. People think you are crazy if you
see a therapist; I think you’re crazy if you don’t.
So how are you feeling today?
I still suffer
with bouts of depression, but I am more readily able to recognize the symptoms
and do the things I need to do to get better.
I recently went back on medication as I felt the “darkness” looming
again. I couple that with an exercise
program, and I feel great!
I’ve mentioned
earlier how you center your stories around social issues, including sexual
abuse. As a survivor, what advice do you have for individuals who’ve dealt with
the lingering effects, but feel too ashamed to seek help?
First of all, I’d like them
to know that what happened to them was not their fault. For many years, I blamed myself for the
sexual abuse I endured. I remember
telling my therapist how I seduced my abusers.
My eyes were opened when she said to me that I did what I was
taught. As a child I didn’t have the
capacity to seduce. So I was finally
able to release the guilt and shame I harbored.
Talk to someone about your pain.
Therapy may not be an option for everyone, but talking about things goes
a long way in healing your heart and mind.
You’re a man of many
talents – author, actor, and now add editor to your resume. Describe your
flourishing business, Sweet Georgia Press and its mission?
Sweet Georgia Press is a
multi-dynamic publishing and editing firm based in Baltimore, Maryland.
Established in 2012, we hit the ground running with an eye for detail and
commitment to professionalism. From
short stories to full novels, we focus on ensuring writing of the highest
quality. We work with authors on their own terms, with an emphasis on best
practices.
I have had the pleasure of
working with some amazing authors like Michelle “Big Body” Cuttino, Deidra Ds
Green, Ben Burgess Jr., Keisha Green, Rashea Baldwin, Andrea Ryan, M.T. Pope,
and many others.
Imani, although my
grandmother is gone, I still want to make her proud. Sweet Georgia Press is dedicated to her
memory. This company is an extension of
her legacy. I hope to leave behind the
same legacy of love, integrity and compassion.
We all have that
special someone that made an impression on our craft. Who is this person(s),
and what would you say to them if they were here?
So many people have made an
impression on me, but two people immediately come to mind—Monique Thomas and
Mark Williams.
Monique, thank you for
pushing me to finish Just Tryin’ To Be
Loved, and for challenging me to think beyond boundaries. You are my muse and you make me see life and
nature the way no one else can.
Mark, thank you for saying,
“You are bigger than a short story.” Had
you not said that, I would have settled.
You showed me that I hadn’t even tapped into my talent.
Finally, what are the
top five things on your bucket list?
That’s a great question. Here they are, in no particular order:
1) I want to fall in love and get married.
2) I want to be able to take some extended time off and
travel the world.
3) I want to launch my own greeting card line. This is actually in the works!
4) I want to retire early.
5) I want to meet Michael Strahan. I’d settle for him being #1.
Thank you, J’son!
This has been an insightful interview that I know will help someone. If readers
would like to know more about you and your work, or seeking an editor, where
should they go online?
