5 WAYS TO GET YOUR HAPPY BACK!

By Imani Wisdom

Have you ever felt you were running on empty by the constant barrage of daily life: work, family, and for some, school?

Whether you’re a single parent or a parent with special responsibilities, such as, caring for a physically or mentally impaired relative or a parent who has to juggle with everyday life, we all fall into the trap of guilt and shame because we feel we’re underperforming our parental duties—or like me—doubting my duties as a daughter to aid my disabled mother. Thus, we push ourselves to the point of mental exhaustion—and when that breaks down—so does our bodies.

I speak from experience because I had been a caregiver to my mother, and then later for my aunt and grandparents and that was not including raising three small children at the time. However, during that journey I suffered health ailments: hypertension, obesity, and depression. There were times I didn’t know how I was going to get out of bed, not along to care for someone else. But by the grace God—I prevailed.

Still, I learned the mind can be a powerful thing. This amazing anatomy that weighs around three pounds can train the body and soul like a battery to an electronic device—powering it up and programming it where you want it to go. For me, I had to learn to shift my thoughts from the negative to the positive and believed all things were possible.

So, on Lent 2010, I made a committed effort for a lifestyle change. I also devised a plan to make my journey easier. If it worked for me, it could for you:

1. Exercise the Mind: Read a book by your favorite author; challenge yourself to a crossword or word search puzzle; get up early while the house is quiet for prayer and meditation, or take spiritual walks. A simple five to ten minute mind vacation does work wonders. When you find something that relaxes you, your mind smiles.

2. Eat Well: Maintaining a well-balanced diet by adding lean meats, like chicken or turkey. Do eat more fresh fruits and vegetables. Eliminate or sparingly eat sugary foods and drinks, such as, cakes, cookies, and sodas. Do eat Omega-3 fatty foods (salmon is an excellent example). More importantly, water, water, water! It is a known fact that drinking eight to ten glasses of water a day cleanse unwanted toxins from the body and avoids you from overeating. As I say all the time: Treat the body well, and it’ll love you in return.

3. Stay Connected: Make a phone call to an old friend and share laughs. If you have a church home, seek comfort and guidance with the pastor and/or parishioners. Join a book club. Take a class to learn something new, like pottery, cooking, or back to the first plan to help relax the mind and body—yoga.

4. Seek Support: This may be a repeat with number three but this goes deeper if you’re suffering from burnout or depression—especially caring for a loved one. Most will seek comfort and advice from their pastor, which is great but if you’re having signs of feeling worthlessness, oversleeping, a change in your eating habits, irritability, or worse, suicidal thoughts, it’s imperative you seek mental health counseling. Also, just because you speak to a mental health professional doesn’t mean they’ll prescribe anti-depressants. Mental Health Professionals are not the boogeyman. They’re to help sort out problems and give their professional advice on which way to go.

5. Loving the Body: Have you ever heard the cliché, your body is your temple. I also consider it as a gift from God. Like any precious gift you’ve received, shouldn’t your body be treated as such? Whether you’re out of shape or need to lose a few pounds, there are simple and common sense ways of getting fit, such as, take brisk thirty minute walks; participate in a physical activity with your children, like kickball; use the stairs at work instead of taking the elevator, and game consoles like Wii or Xbox have interactive games to fight against the bulge. Be creative with any physical activity you chose and make it fun.

These five tips aren’t a magic pill but it’s a start to alleviating the stress. If you don’t try all five, just try one of them. Better yet, devise your plan and share the results in the comment section or on Twitter under @imani_wisdom. I would love to hear from you. And who knows, whatever you share could benefit me.

Imani Wisdom is the founder of Pink Noire Publications.  Based in Indianapolis, IN, Pink Noire is a groundbreaking company with an unpredictable brand of literary storytelling.   Wisdom is also the creator of Pink Noire Blog, which hosts inspirational posts for the soul, along with social commentary.  Born and raised in “Indy,” Wisdom spends her days overseeing a family of five, writing short stories and books, cooking vegan dishes, running 5Ks and mini-marathons, and enjoying quality time with her friends and family.

                                           

Wisdom is a graduate of Ivy Tech Community College, earning a degree in Paralegal Studies. She is a prolific storyteller whose works depict an honest portrayal of societal issues. As a blogger and author, she has received numerous honors including 2012 nominee for Poet of the Year (AAMBC Book Club), March 2012 Up and Coming Author (The Writer’s POV Magazine), September 2011 Blog of the Month (The Writer’s POV Magazine), and February 2011 Editor’s Pick (BlackShortStories.com) for her short story, The Shattered Mogul. Her works include Zion’s Road: A Love Story about Faith and Redemption, and her upcoming debut novel, The Journey of Ruthie Belle.

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THE HEART AND SOUL OF J'SON M. LEE

J'son M. Lee is the Owner and President of Sweet Georgia Press, a multi-dynamic publishing and editing firm based in Baltimore, MD.  He was born in Lewiston, NC, and resides in Baltimore, MD, where he enjoys a fulfilling, yet busy life that includes managing commercial properties, writing books, editing, food and entertainment, and spending time with loved ones.

Lee is a graduate of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, earning a degree in Speech Communication with a concentration in Performance Studies. He is a multiple award-winning author who creates works that challenge the notion of normalcy. Most recently he was named 2013 Author of the Year by SGL BOOKLOVERS magazine. With his pen, he seeks to broaden minds and reinforce the universality of love. With wit and a gift for narrative, he creates characters that will speak to your heart. His works include Just Tryin' To Be Loved, How Could My Husband Be GAY?, the "Friends or Lovers" short story series (Best Friends, More Than Friends and Can't Be Friends), love One (short story), and One Family's AIDS (short story).

Lee is also a writer and celebrity interviewer at Proud Times Magazine in Spokane, WA, and host of a monthly BlogTalkRadio show, A Different Kind of Love.

Courtesy of jmcoylee.com

Imani: J’son, you’re well-loved and respected among our peers, and I’m sure many of them are familiar with your background. But share with us, what makes J’son M. Lee the man he is today?

J’son: Imani, first of all, thank you for this opportunity, and thank you for those kind words.  What makes me the man I am today?  That’s a great question.  I think the answer is quite simply my experiences—mainly the bad ones.  I’ve been very candid about my upbringing, and those things shaped the person you see today.  They made me stronger.  They made me better.  They kept me honest.  They made me push harder, and want more.  There are times that I wish my life—especially my childhood—had been different, but I continue to believe that God doesn’t make mistakes.  I am exactly where I am supposed to be and who I am supposed to be.

Your debut novel, Just Tryin’ to be Loved, was an awesome read. I loved it! So share with the readers, what inspired you to write a compelling story?

I wrote this story for selfish reasons—to release a lot of the pain and disappointment I experienced in my own life as it relates to acceptance, love, and relationships. There is a lot of similarity between me and the main character, Mark Harris. Mark’s views on love—and life in general—mirror my own.  Despite everything that’s happened in my life, I am still a hopeless romantic. I hope this book makes people believe in themselves and believe in love.

Just Tryin’ To Be Loved has some very colorful characters, most of which are based on people I know.  My favorite character was Gramma’.  The relationship Mark has with his grandmother is the relationship I had with my own grandmother, Georgia Lee (who is also my company’s namesake).  In reading the book, I hope you will see my love for her and the wonderful lessons she taught me.

What about the development of the characters, were there any challenges of creating them?

I think this project was the only one where there weren’t challenges with character development.  I remember sitting in my dining room and literally having conversations with and between the characters.  They were all so real to me.  I heard their voices.  I knew their thoughts.  They literally guided my hands through the process.

One of your characters I found intriguing was Mark's grandmother. I knew when reading this book this character was personal for you. So, tell us more about your 'Gramma' -- Miss Georgia?

My grandmother was an amazing woman, and I wanted to capture her essence and pay tribute to her in this work.  She never got to read the book, but she did read the acknowledgments.  I remember sitting in her living room in North Carolina as she held the book in her tiny hands.  She was very proud of me.  “I can’t read all dese words, but I read what you said about me.  That was very nice,” she said.  That alone was all the validation I needed as a writer.

Let’s talk about your writing process: are you character-driven by allowing your characters to guide you? Or taming the storyline by being plot-driven?

I’d have to say that I am character-driven.  Most times the characters dictate the story.  I typically don’t begin writing knowing where a story is going to go.  I just relax into it and let it unfold.  My characters have a mind of their own.  I will say that there are times that I literally skip chapters because a character has advanced the story well beyond where the other characters exist.  In those times, I simply go where I’m told and then go back and fill in the gaps.  It’s a crazy process, but it seems to work.

You’ve also written books centered around social issues; such as, LGBT romance, HIV/AIDS, and sexual abuse. Why are these topics important to you?

I try to be as authentic as possible in my writing.  In staying true to who I am, I often write about things that I know or things that I’m passionate about.  You’ve mentioned a number of those things above.  I am a gay man who believes in love, so I write LGBT romance.  I have lost a friends and family to complications of HIV/AIDS, so I want to pay tribute to them and make people aware of this disease.  HIV/AIDS is not the death sentence it used to be.  Lastly, I’m very transparent about my own experience with sexual abuse.  I was in therapy for many years dealing with the repercussions of abuse.  Many people never seek help.  I write about abuse to let people know how it effects the victim, and to raise awareness.  I love children.  Sexual abuse is one of the most traumatic experiences a child can endure.  They deserve better.  They deserve to be children.

I know you're living the life that some dream of having, but when you first 'came out", what was the reception you've received from your family and friends? And how is it now?

I'd like to say that coming out was a positive experience, but quite frankly it wasn't.  When it's been ingrained in you since early childhood that you are an abomination and going to hell, it's hard to reverse the effects of those teachings.  Coming out for me was a long process.  I didn't come to terms with my sexuality until I was well into my 30s.  In the process, I had varying reactions and emotions.  My mother found out when I was in high school, and outed me to my entire family out her own hurt and anger.  She looked in my face and said, "If you want to be a woman, then be one.  Why hide it?"  Many people, my mother included, think that being gay is about wanting to be the opposite sex.  That is the furthest from the truth for me.  I love being a man; I just happen to also love men. The remainder of my family never really talked about my sexuality, and I was fine with that. 

              

Fast forward a few years...I was a college graduate and living on my own.  To this day, many of my family members remain silent on my sexuality.  They all know, but there's never a conversation about who I'm dating or anything like that.  I think a large part of that has to do with my perceived success.  I'm from a small town, and in their minds I've "made it."  I think there is some intimidation on their part. They know how vocal I am, and dare not say anything to incite me.   On the other hand, there are a few family members who are fine with my sexuality and love me unconditionally.

I've been blessed to have friends who love me for who I am.  I do feel that I have to compartmentalize my friends.  As I said, I have some who love me for who I am, and then there are others who feel it is a choice and that I can be delivered from this somehow.  I used to readily discard folk who believed this way, but it was such a waste of energy.  We simply agree to disagree.  The way I see it, they have two choices—love me, or leave me.  I'm not changing.  I'm comfortable in my own skin.  I'm openly gay, and very vocal about it.  I will continue to be vocal until sexuality becomes a non-issue.

 Your much anticipated, upcoming novel, Darkness, has already gripped my attention. For those who don’t know, share a little sneak peek of this important novel.

Imani, if I’m honest, this project is a struggle.  I’ve had the idea for a few years now, but have yet to put anything on paper.  When that happens, I simply have to wait until I’m directed.  I know it’s something that I will complete, but I don’t know the premise or when.  All I know is that Darkness will be a book about my own struggle with depression.  Recently I wrote an article for Proud Times about my experience.  I’ll share a portion of that with you:

At a glance, I have the ideal life:  I am a Senior Property Manager at the largest owner/manager of commercial properties in the Washington, DC region.  I own my own editing firm, and have a thriving writing career.  I own my own home; I drive a luxury car.  I also have some of the greatest friends any person could ask for.  While I seem to have the life that many would dream of, there are times when I am overcome with sadness.  Often during these times, I find myself crying for no apparent reason.

My symptoms first surfaced when my mother unexpectedly passed away.  I have always been the person whom everyone in my family relied on to handle business.  When my grandmother died in 2006, I assumed the role relegated to me.  The same was expected when my mother passed away three years later.  After the funeral, I returned to Maryland—business as usual.  I had moments of sadness as I grieved the loss of my mother, but something was different.  I’d suffered loss before, but this pain went beyond loss.  I cried for no reason.  I found excuses to not be social.  I would stay in bed all weekend with the curtains drawn.

One day as I was driving in to work, tears began to stream down my face.  I couldn’t figure out why I was crying.  I decided to see a therapist.  At our appointment, I shared with her all I was going through.  “J’son, you have endured great loss.  I would like to suggest that you see your primary care physician.  I think you need something to take the edge off of what you’re feeling as you work through your pain,” she said.  I was completely against medication.  I didn’t want to walk around like a zombie.  After all, only crazy people took medication, right? 

At my doctor’s appointment, I tried to hide my sadness, but my doctor saw through it.  He insisted something was wrong because I wasn’t my usual “smiley” self.  I finally shared with him that I had recently lost my mother, and that I was feeling unusually sad.  I also shared with him what my therapist had said.  He praised me for going to therapy, and for the first time the word “depression” was used… 

I want to continue on the subject of depression. Explain to the readers on how debilitating the illness is, and why “praying-it-away” isn’t that simple?

Let me begin by saying that I believe my faith coupled with therapy is the reason I am able to cope with my depression.  The faith-based community would have you believe that you can pray everything away.  I am not of the same mindset.  I think that mentality is killing people.  Prayer is one of the most powerful weapons we have, but there’s a lot to be said for therapy and medicine (if warranted).  Depression, especially in the black community, is like a dirty little secret.  We need to get beyond this stigma if we are going to heal ourselves.  We are taught not to tell our business, so we often don’t seek therapy for our issues.  Further, black people tend to have a lot of fears surrounding medication.  Let’s be real, we have every right to be as evidenced by the Tuskegee syphilis experiment, for example.  Historically, we don’t trust medication, and we don’t trust white folks to prescribe it to us.  I believe God led me to my therapist, and I’m a huge proponent of therapy, and medicine when needed.  I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve utilized both.  People think you are crazy if you see a therapist; I think you’re crazy if you don’t.

So how are you feeling today?

I still suffer with bouts of depression, but I am more readily able to recognize the symptoms and do the things I need to do to get better.  I recently went back on medication as I felt the “darkness” looming again.  I couple that with an exercise program, and I feel great!

I’ve mentioned earlier how you center your stories around social issues, including sexual abuse. As a survivor, what advice do you have for individuals who’ve dealt with the lingering effects, but feel too ashamed to seek help?

First of all, I’d like them to know that what happened to them was not their fault.  For many years, I blamed myself for the sexual abuse I endured.  I remember telling my therapist how I seduced my abusers.  My eyes were opened when she said to me that I did what I was taught.  As a child I didn’t have the capacity to seduce.  So I was finally able to release the guilt and shame I harbored.  Talk to someone about your pain.  Therapy may not be an option for everyone, but talking about things goes a long way in healing your heart and mind.

You’re a man of many talents – author, actor, and now add editor to your resume. Describe your flourishing business, Sweet Georgia Press and its mission?

Sweet Georgia Press is a multi-dynamic publishing and editing firm based in Baltimore, Maryland. Established in 2012, we hit the ground running with an eye for detail and commitment to professionalism.  From short stories to full novels, we focus on ensuring writing of the highest quality. We work with authors on their own terms, with an emphasis on best practices. 

I have had the pleasure of working with some amazing authors like Michelle “Big Body” Cuttino, Deidra Ds Green, Ben Burgess Jr., Keisha Green, Rashea Baldwin, Andrea Ryan, M.T. Pope, and many others.

Imani, although my grandmother is gone, I still want to make her proud.  Sweet Georgia Press is dedicated to her memory.  This company is an extension of her legacy.  I hope to leave behind the same legacy of love, integrity and compassion.

We all have that special someone that made an impression on our craft. Who is this person(s), and what would you say to them if they were here?

So many people have made an impression on me, but two people immediately come to mind—Monique Thomas and Mark Williams. 

Monique, thank you for pushing me to finish Just Tryin’ To Be Loved, and for challenging me to think beyond boundaries.  You are my muse and you make me see life and nature the way no one else can. 

Mark, thank you for saying, “You are bigger than a short story.”  Had you not said that, I would have settled.  You showed me that I hadn’t even tapped into my talent.

Finally, what are the top five things on your bucket list?

That’s a great question.  Here they are, in no particular order:

1)      I want to fall in love and get married.

2)      I want to be able to take some extended time off and travel the world.

3)      I want to launch my own greeting card line.  This is actually in the works!

4)      I want to retire early.

5)      I want to meet Michael Strahan.  I’d settle for him being #1. 

Thank you, J’son! This has been an insightful interview that I know will help someone. If readers would like to know more about you and your work, or seeking an editor, where should they go online?

To learn more about me and/or my works, please visit my website at www.jmccoylee.com.  I’m also on Facebook www.facebook.com/jmccoylee.  If someone is seeking an editor or editing advice, please check me out at www.sweetgeorgiapress.com.  

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NEW TALENT: MEET TRE' L. BRYANT!

Tre' L. Bryant is a first time author whose forthcoming book "Where There's a Will, There's a Way" chronicles her experience as a domestic violence victim and survivor. Born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, Tre' wants to use her voice and words in a powerful and positive way to speak on her experience for a passionate cause. She had a dream that was shattered and through her faith and family she overcame a life that was full of depression and meaningless. Now, Tre' is still here and standing tall while serving God's purpose with no intentions of stopping. To understand her struggle is to understand her journey.

Imani: Welcome to the Lounge. Let's start off with a simple icebreaker and begin with your story, just who is Tre' Bryant?

Tre: Thank you for having me it is truly an honor. Well Tre is a mom to two amazing kids (Kayla 19 and Larry 18) first and foremost and currently in pursuit of living out her dreams while helping people in the process , a business woman building her own brand and adjusting to life as a first time author.

Tell us more about your latest project. What's the inspiration behind this book?

Where there’s A Will There’s A Way was totally inspired by my personal real life events going as far back to the age for 4 years old. But mostly my experience being a Domestic Violence victim for 20 years which was half of my life and reliving some of those difficult moments. This book helped in my healing process and has allowed me to not be shameful of my past or blame myself for the things that I could not change. I always wanted to write a book but was discouraged so many times from doing so until I met my God sent angel that encouraged me to share my story and help others. It’s because of him I found the strength and courage to move forward and follow my dream and finally decide to share my story and not hide behind my pain any longer.

Briefly, explain what makes your book different from the vast choices in the same genre?

Because my story was my reality and I am here speaking to you as a survivor.

What were the challenges of writing this book?

Having to relive various moments in my life that I had emotionally detached myself from so many years ago. This book has helped me to finally deal with my pain while giving me the opportunity to help other’s in the process. Overcoming my fears and finally making peace with my past is really what this book is about and also letting people that have gone or are currently dealing with some of these same issues to assure them that they are not alone. I want people to be inspired by my story and say that it is because of me they didn’t give up.

What have you learned (or still learning) since being the business?

That it’s a lot of work and nothing like I imagined. Until you write a book you have no idea the hard work that goes into it and making it a success. I never knew it could be so demanding but at the same time I accept the challenge and I have been blessed with a great mentor.

What is your dream collaboration? With whom, and why?

I would be honored to work with Lakia Nichole on a project someday. She has been such an inspiration to me and has taken me under her wing and I am forever grateful and she has taught me so much already. She has become my hero professionally and personally she’s great.

Finally, share with us something you've never mentioned publicly since being an author; such as, a quirk or a hidden talent. I'm sure readers would like to know.

Cooking in the downtime is something that not too many people know about me. I also have very many business ventures in the works outside of my Domestic Violence organization Survivor Life’s Blessing which I have started to promote awareness and provide help to victims with the help of other survivors like myself as well.

Excerpt:

I still get vivid memories of being grabbed tightly around my neck and the tight grip of his hands preventing screams from escaping my lungs. Along with the continuous flow of tears, my breathing became shallow and I felt like I was slipping away. If I allowed him to think he could disrespect me in this fashion he was sadly mistaken. There was going to be some serious consequences and shit was about to get real ugly. Words started being exchanged and before long, shit started flying and breaking because I knew that this was one fight he was not going to win. I was ready to prove to him that I wasn’t having what the fuck he was dishing. We fought like two niggas in the street, and I remember he had me in an extremely tight head lock. I had full access to his arm and since that was the only part of his body I could reach, I locked down on it with my teeth like I was eating a steak and the end result was him in the emergency room having to get a rabies shot. My intention was to rip a plug out of his arm. Once the fight was over I realized that he still had not overcome his anger issues and felt he owned me. I was supposed to accept this kind of behavior whenever he felt the need to display it. I knew in my heart that I had love for him, but I started really asking myself if he was worth it. I developed thoughts of wanting to end my own life because of the stress, the drama, and him not choosing to acknowledge me. If there wasn’t verbal abuse, there were silent moments. I was the one who would end up hurt and feeling extremely alone, but then I would look at my babies and I would try to have a change of heart. As always and even to this day, I put them first. I continue to sacrifice for them what would ultimately be my entire life up to that moment and my much so desired happiness would be put on the back burner. During the first year of my son’s life there were many more fights, some permanent scars, endless heartaches, and feelings of being trapped with no outlet. I began to hate my life and went into a horrible depression. The recovery would not take place for a long time.

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THE IMPERFECT HEROINE

I sat alone in a darkened room, swimming in an emotional pool of despair; I cried a lot and prayed often. And yet the more I surrendered my heart to the Creator, I felt a huge disconnect. Riddled in sorrow, I tried to think positive like envisioning my children’s their lovely faces. For a moment, it almost worked. But the depression was too great. I couldn’t even crack a smile. The murkiness had fallen deep into my soul. And my children – my three wonderful blessings – I felt they were better off. I was ready to give up.

I leaned back against the chair of where I sat and strangely thought of my silk scarf I had tied to my head. My life was in such chaos back then, I rarely had taken it off. The scarf symbolized a shield against the status quo – your hair equates beauty. But for me, I didn’t give a rats-behind about being “prettied”. I ballooned to two hundred fifty pounds on a five-feet-two inch frame. Depression and I didn’t care. We didn’t care about the latest styles or extreme makeovers; we just wanted to be withdrawn with our own pitiful thoughts, hoping those thoughts would get the best of us.

I knew for certain I wanted to end it. My tears were apparent like April showers, and one by one they were cascading into a tailspin. I couldn’t bear it any longer; I had to call His name. He known for weeks how worse I became. He’d heard my prayers over and over again and yet nothing. I was fat and broke with an uncertain future at the age of thirty-nine. As old folks would say, I didn’t have a pot to piss in.

Then I said it – I looked to the ceiling as if I could see His face, grimacing in anger as I with began with the why’s and then how’s, and threw in some whatif’s. I even had the nerve to point to make sure He understood my argument. The anger was only the beginning: I was pissed. I clenched my jaws, murmuring one word after another as I continued my rant. Then I’d taken the gripe to another level. So much so, it shocked me to the point I knew I couldn’t take it back. “Just take me Lord…right now!” I fought through the tears. “Why am I here? I feel as if I’m just an accident. Lord, just take me. I don’t care how, just take me away. I’m a living a life with no purpose”.

I then fell into silence, waiting and waiting and waiting – waiting in anticipation for my final hours, waiting to fade to black, just waiting. So while I continued to wait, I received a call but not on my cell phone, on the landline phone two rooms away. I rolled my eyes at the mere disturbance, knowing I had to leave the comforts of my darkness. But as soon as I said hello, a soft-spoken voice emerged from the receiver. It was my mother. “Are you okay?” she asked.

I rolled my eyes and lied. “Yes, why do you ask?” 

She said was overcome with a strange feeling to call me as my face suddenly appeared in her mind. My eyes then widened with the fear of God. I peered to ceiling, wondering if it was possible. Did He nudged momma’s spirit or just a simple coincidence? She then rambled on her queries, while I pretended everything was hokey-dorie. I mean I had to. My mother lived on the other side of town with my sister bedridden with Multiple Sclerosis. There was nothing she could do, or at least that’s what I thought.

 I returned to the darkened room after the phone call to gaze at the ceiling in stun silence. Although my tears were no more, the pain remained but this time I sat in solitude – pondering if my mother’s phone call was perfect timing or Divine intervention. My questions were answered a year and three months later, however. After I made an about-face with my life by losing weight and starting my writing career, my mother died suddenly on a warm June afternoon.  Here I was on the verge of becoming a first-time author – a direction she encouraged for me to take – and she was gone just like that.  

We take many things for granted, but one thing we do especially take is time. We all had complained it moves slowly or there’s never enough. But time can be a merciless, unkind friend, especially saying those final goodbyes. My opportunity to thank her for that fateful day had never occurred. My second chance will happen many years from now – many, many years from now. I have too much to live for because I understand my purpose. And because of my mother, I see it in vivid colors.

God knew exactly what He was doing the moment when I wallowed in that darkened room. He knew of my request before I opened my mouth; and He knew the right person to save me. It was because of her, I realize heroines aren’t all ways perfect. They have flaws and yet still wanting to save hurt souls.  It’s a gift that many don’t realize. Unbeknownst to my mother, she definitely had it.

©Imani Wisdom, 2014 

Pink Noire Publications

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JAMI GREENE: THE LEGACY IN THE MAKING

When the name Jamesina (Jami) Greene comes to mind, I think of strength, compassion, and grace. I'm honored to share her story of triumph, overcoming the obstacles that many would succumb to its challenge. Though this Ordained Minister still has a lot of fight; she's a warrior not only in her faith, but for the voiceless who think their past hurts are a definition of who they are. 

Minister Greene was like many who have suffered abuse and lived in the shame. She also can relate to grief, because she understands the pain of losing loved ones. Most people assume ministers, or a person of Faith, live the perfect lives; they live by the Word while gleaming a smile, give time to the less fortunate, and, of course, give inspiration. 

If only it's that simple.

Minister Greene storms were tumultuous, a monsoon of heartache. Truthfully, it's human nature. No matter who the person is, or the background they come from, or how big they're bank account, the pain of depression does not discriminate --even for the person of God. 

And yet this talented author and Blog Talk Host and Producer to her show "Voices of Triumph" has proven her journey is far from over. 



Imani: Pink Noire is proud to welcome Author and Motivational Speaker, Minister Jamesina (Jami) Greene. Before we go further, tell us something yourself.

Jami: I would like to begin by saying that I am truly honored to be a Guest of Pink Noire.  I am grateful for this opportunity to share my heart and my voice with your Readers.  I am a Mother of two Princes and the Grandmother of four Princes.  I am an Ordained Minister, Published Author, Radio Show Host, Entrepreneur and Advocate for loving those who feel unloved.  I am a Voice that has been developed from much pain and loss.

Let's begin with a topic you're so passionate about -- depression. The number of diagnosed cases in this country is staggering. So could you share with the readers your personal struggle with the illness?

You are absolutely correct.  I am extremely passionate about the topic of Depression.  I have struggled with Depression for most of my life, but I was not diagnosed until age 32.  For the majority of my life, I suffered silently.  Wearing the mask that was required of the Preachers' daughter; the Minister/Teacher and a multitude of other roles.  Then in one day, all of the pretense was uncovered.  I hit a that wall, that life event where your reality demolishes your fantasy.  The real me was exposed to me and to others and I was forced to make a choice.  I had to choose to be real and get healed or keep pretending that everything was OK.  I chose to get real and heal.  

I've been diagnosed with Clinical Depression and didn't quite understand the symptoms until my thirties. So what are the signs a "sufferer" should recognize?

The Life Journey itself, comes with days of feeling down and blue.  However, if an individual experiences long periods of feeling down, overwhelmed, hopeless and helpless, I highly recommend that they seek Professional help.  Sometimes things occur in our life, over which we have no control and these things effect our total being to the point that they control us.  If you have experienced great loss, molestation, etc. and everything in your life has changed to the point that you no longer feel in control, then you should definitely talk to someone about it.  I personally believe that the stigma attached to Depression, hinders many people from acknowledging that they suffer with it.  Especially, if you are a Christian.  It has been my experience that too often we are taught how to be fake in the Church.  We often teach that anything that has happened in your past, should stay in the past.  The reality of life is that whoever you are today, is a sum total of all that has brought you to this place on your Journey.  Acknowledge that and then you can move forward.

I've read in another interview that you're a survivor of sexual abuse. I won't ask you to relive that painful part from your life. But I would like to ask had the abuse contributed toward the depression?

My experience with sexual abuse as a child AND as an adult, definitely correlate with the Depression.   The childhood sexual abuse began around age 8 and continued for many years.  It taught me that I was useless and invaluable.  These feelings were carried with me into adulthood and by keeping the abuse to myself, it further pushed me into a depressive state.  This is one of the main reasons that I "go hard" for individuals who have suffered sexual abuse.  It effects every area of your life.

"We often teach that anything that has happened in your past, should stay in the past.  The reality of life is that whoever you are today, is a sum total of all that has brought you to this place on your Journey.  Acknowledge that and then you can move forward"

In your bio on Amazon you wrote, "I am a Voice rising like a Phoenix out of the ashes. I am a Voice for ALL generations developed from pain and loss, mixed with unbridled love and compassion for all who know pain." Very well said, Minister. So is it fair to say, you write not just healing for yourself, but for all who needs to be healed from their own pain?

Yes Ma'am.  To say that "I am a Voice for all..." is the perfect summation for why I write.  After being diagnosed with Major Depression and Anxiety Disorder, I was encouraged by my Therapist to write, daily, in a Journal.  Those writings became the basis for my book, 'Help, I Don't Like Myself!" and the more I shared my feelings and experiences, the more I became aware that there are so many people going through the same thing.  By writing from this very real place, I show them that they are NOT alone and that there is hope for deliverance and peace.  It is my desire to write for as long as I have breath in my body.  Praying that my Story is my Gift to the world, and that lives will be changed by my sharing my Gift.

To make a great inspirational book, which do you prefer: Outlining by chapter, or let it go with the flow?

To make a great Inspiration Book, I personally prefer to go with the flow.  It is my experience with writing, that Inspiration often comes from unexpected place and unexpected times.  Inspiration is like a water flow.  It should be unbridled and allowed to set its own course.  However, I am currently in the process of writing an Inspiration book which contains specific and varied topics.  With this book, I will allow the flow to happen within said topic.

Recently, you've collaborated with the great ReShonda Tate Billingsley, for the book, The Motherhood Diaries. How did the collaboration happen? And will there be another collaboration in the future?

Wow!  What an honor it was to collaborate with the amazing ReShonda Tate Billingsley.  I still break out in a smile every time I think about the connection I have made with her and the other phenomenal Sisterwriters that participated in that project.  The collaboration happened as a result of a Submission Request sent out by ReShonda and her Publisher.  It is my understanding that they received over 300 submissions for the book, but only 21 were chosen.  I was truly blessed to be one of the 21.

I would LOVE to do another collaboration with ReShonda Tate Billingsley.  She is one of my all-time favorite Authors and has become a genuine friend.  We have remained in touch and when I went through major surgery, she personally called me to check on me and has stayed in touch during my recovery.

"Inspiration is like a water flow.  It should be unbridled and allowed to set its own course."

Is there another author you would like to work with -- perhaps another dream collaboration?

Yes!  I would absolutely adore the opportunity to collaborate with Author extraordinaire, Tina McElroy Ansa.  Her writing speaks to my spiritual side and reminds me that I am a spiritual being whose stories must be told.

I know you've experienced the loss of your beloved parents in recent years. You have my deepest sympathy. Yet I'm sure they are smiling down at your accomplishments. What do you they'll say about everything you've achieved?

*Sigh* My parents are my roots.  Even though they have transitioned from their earthly bodies, they still provide me with daily strength.  When I approach obstacles in my Life Journey, I often find myself asking, "What would Daddy and Mom want me to do?  How would they handle this?"  Since their deaths, I hear more and more how much I look and act like them.  (smile).  Sometimes, I actually believe that they speak through me.  I have suffered great loss and change since their deaths, yet, I truly believe that I am much stronger because I am being force to walk out my own Journey.  I now they are proud of me.

 Let me say while writing this interview, you've become my new Shero. That said, with all of your successes and positive spirit, have you ever forgiven the person who abused you? And if so, explain the why the power of forgiveness is important?

Awww.  I'm your Shero. You're gonna make me cry (smile). The power of forgiveness is mandatory for a successful Journey.  Following the death of my parents I really, really had to learn this lesson.  There were many negative, dishonest and downright nasty things that happened to my family after they died.  The Church that they founded and pastored for 40 years, was taken from us and I became extremely bitter.  Then one day, while in prayer, I heard Holy Spirit say, "The essence of your parents cannot be contained in a building.  That building is not who they were.  YOU are the Legacy that they left behind."  At that moment, I began to pray for forgiveness for the bitterness, etc. and have continued to move forward in the freedom that forgiving others provides.

"The essence of your parents cannot be contained in a building.  That building is not who they were.  YOU are the Legacy that they left behind."

Do you have any projects planned for 2015?

Yes Ma'am.  For 2015, it is my desire to complete the book manuscript that my Father and I began together before his death.  I am currently working on my first Children's book and a Daily Inspirational Journal.  I have been conferring with a Music Producer to go in the Studio and record a music demo of a song that I have written.  As a creative being, my mind is constantly filled with ideas.  The challenge I face with my physical health, etc., has slowed me down quite a bit.  But I refuse to give up.

Finally, if you were to have a dinner party and guest list are three legendary figures (living or not), who would they be, and what one question you would ask them?

If I were to have a dinner party with three legendary figures, they would probably be:  1)  Mother Teresa; 2) Gladys Knight and 3)  Toni Morrison.  I would ask Mother Teresa to share with me her personal motivation for loving the unloved.  I would ask Gladys Knight how it felt to break through and maintain a career during a time when it wasn't very easy for women to do so.  I would ask Toni Morrison about her strength to write unpopular stories, while facing such public backlash.

Thank you, Minister Greene. This interview has been a moving experience for me. I truly appreciate you. Could you share with the readers where they can purchase your work, as well as finding you on the web?

It has been a overwhelming pleasure for me to talk with you.  I feel such a spirit of peace and acceptance here.  The readers can feel free to contact me on the following:  Facebook (Jamesina Greene);  Twitter (SheInspires61);  LinkedIn (Jamesina Greene) and email:  jamee_2001@yahoo.com.  At this time I do not have a website.  It's on my "Step up my Game List".  LOL

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Delia Wynne: The New York Southerner

Delia Wynne is a native New Yorker with the gift for words. She made her debut in May 2014 as an author with her novel titled, Hope’s End – a story many know all too well of domestic violence, drug abuse, and depression.

I've met Delia a few months ago as she was promoting her novel online. ‘Quiet, but fiery with passion’ was my initial impression. The more we exchanged pleasantries, the more I wanted to know her story – and reading Hope’s End only furthered my curiosity for this character-driven novelist.

It was an honor to hear her speak with candor in The Lounge. What she conveyed, I’m sure many authors and readers can relate. 

Imani: Delia, thank you for joining me in The Pink Lounge -- welcome. Let me ask you this question, something different from what I ask my guest: Tell the readers more about you and the type of work you write.

Delia: Thanks so much for having me. I am a native New Yorker now happily living in the South. Ironically, I place almost all of my stories outside of my own settings. They are stories of women attempting to overcome barriers and great odds. Sometimes, by the final page, they do succeed. Oftentimes, there is a twist that comes along with whatever resolution they end up with. One common thread in all of my stories, though, is that they are always character-driven. Their decisions and actions move the plots forward, not the other way around.

Imani: When did that epiphany hit you and you realized you were a writer?

Delia: I realized it pretty young- by the time I was twelve, I was already writing novellas. Before that, I was very imaginative, daydreaming all of the time. My childhood caused an “anywhere but here” mentality in me, so I created different worlds to live in. That gave me a lot of practice when I started to seriously plot novels. Once I was out of my teens, I concluded that other people may want to read this stuff and that maybe I could do it professionally.

Imani: What's your methodology of a solid storyline?

Delia: A solid storyline of mine always contains a likely threat of disaster. Too often I’ve read novels, especially literary ones, where I am bored stiff because there is clearly nothing that can or will harm what the author is describing. Everything is too pat. When I am plotting a storyline, I always make sure that there is something that can wreck the characters’ lives, whether that is a hurricane, an extramarital affair, or a bankruptcy. This will always be the main plot, and of course, a good storyline is always comprised of scenes that absolutely function, whether they are to advance the plot or deepen characterization- no filler allowed.

Imani: Let's talk about your book, "Hope's End" and the wayward teen, Frances Mitchell. It's a powerful read; especially, how you centered the focal point on a host of important issues -- domestic violence, alcoholism, and drug abuse. But the honesty you have put forth for Frances, bearing the darkness of clinical depression, is all too real for many. Please tell the readers the importance of writing this character dealing with these issues.

Delia: I think it’s always important to address uncomfortable issues such as these in fiction. Wounds heal best out in the open. The fact remains that domestic violence is all too common, and too many people are self-medicating themselves, like Frances does, with drugs and alcohol when they have a diagnosable mental disorder. As for clinical depression, this may be the most taboo of all subjects, especially in the black community. It’s just not taken seriously enough. Most people think to be suffering a mental illness, one has to be -an axe-wielding maniac or drooling at the mouth. Clinical depression is not treated as the grave, uncontrollable disease that it is, which is a tragedy. Another relative issue I’d like to bring up is everyone’s ignorance of Frances’s condition. Lots of times people in reality, too, fail to recognize the symptoms of depression until it is too late. It often takes a suicide attempt, a drug overdose, or worse, for people to realize that something is really wrong with their loved one.

Most people think to be suffering a mental illness, one has to be -an axe-wielding maniac or drooling at the mouth. Clinical depression is not treated as the grave, uncontrollable disease that it is, which is a tragedy. Another relative issue I’d like to bring up is everyone’s ignorance of Frances’s condition. Lots of times people in reality, too, fail to recognize the symptoms of depression until it is too late. It often takes a suicide attempt, a drug overdose, or worse, for people to realize that something is really wrong with their loved one.

Imani: When I read the book, I don't know how many times I said, "Yep! I can relate; I've been in 'Frances Mitchell' shoes. As a writer, where did the inspiration of this character had come from?

Delia: Frances’s character is symbolic of several themes. When I wrote Hope’s End, I was suffering through a depression, myself. I decided to express my anguish, disgust, hurt, and anger through a novel. This is why I think the read is so powerful, it came from my imagination, yes, but it also came from the heart. The original title of the book was in fact, ‘Out of Rage’, as Frances represents of all those terrible feelings I was having. She is both pain and hope personified. It may not be lost on readers, either, that this is a modern-day retelling of Cinderella, since she’s rescued from an abysmal situation by a prince-like suitor and lives happily- at least for a while. The twists towards the end of the book is, in part, what separates it from the classic tale, though.

Imani: Without expressing too much of the plot, what made you decide the twist?

Delia: Well, I love irony, especially in my own work. Life is unpredictable and sometimes unfair. But even if it does even out, resolutions aren’t always satisfying. I like for my art to imitate that fact of life, and frankly, I also like to jolt my readers. I feel it makes for a more unforgettable reading experience and doesn’t compromise realism, in fact it reinforces it.

Imani: What you know as an author now, meaning the common mistakes new and self-published authors make. If you can go back in time to meet yourself as a novice writer, what advice would you give yourself?

Delia: Honestly, I am still learning. I don’t consider myself a new writer anymore, but I’m far from an experienced veteran. The one thing that I’d tell my past self is to work harder at promotion, because I spent a lot of time thinking that sales would just fall into my lap, then I became discouraged when that didn't happen. Promotion takes almost as much effort as writing, itself, does.

I don’t consider myself a new writer anymore, but I’m far from an experienced veteran. The one thing that I’d tell my past self is to work harder at promotion, because I spent a lot of time thinking that sales would just fall into my lap, then I became discouraged when that didn't happen. Promotion takes almost as much effort as writing, itself, does.

Imani: Where do see your career standing in five years?

Delia: I hope to see Hope’s End exposed to a whole lot more people. Of course, I’d like to have several more books out there doing well, and I do have other stories to tell. But I’d ultimately love to see Hope’s End reach the level of Push/Precious, or The Color Purple.

Imani: Do you have any projects you are currently working on, or any new releases you would like to share? And if it's a new release, please share a brief description of the story and its characters?

Delia: My latest story is an Urban Lit effort named Brie & Dallas. It’s about a former streetwalker that helps her ex-pimp through a life-threatening crisis. The main question is whether they can live together clean and square, or will their old habits get the better of them. It’s less serious and more freewheeling than Hope’s End. There is a lot of authentic, graphic content in this book, but I decided not to use the same bleak mood that I did in Hope’s End. Brie & Dallas is a more straightforward, action-focused tale.

Imani: Finally, tell us one thing you haven't shared with your readers. It can be a quirk, a favorite food, or a hidden talent. The floor is yours.

Delia: I’m an amateur comic book artist and have my own graphic novel called Track Star. I’m obsessed with track and field, so I came up with a story about a gorgeous sprinter who has a glamorous life and jet-setting career. It’s a hobby and a labor of love.

Imani: Fascinating! Will you pursue this avenue in comics someday?

Delia: No, it’s just something I like to read back and enjoy myself, but I never mind showing it off to interested people.

Imani: Delia, thank you for stopping by The Lounge. I had a blast. Tell the readers where they can purchase your work, as well as finding you on the web?

 Delia: Sure. Hope’s End is available in print and as an ebook at http://www.amazon.com/Hopes-End-Delia-Wynne/dp/149959383X, and on Barnes & Noble at http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/hopes-end-delia-wynne/1119964927?ean=9781499593839. Brie & Dallas is available at http://www.amazon.com/Brie-Dallas-Delia-Wynne-ebook/dp/B00O2MJ6EI.

People can email at any time at deediwynne@gmail.com.

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