A Brand New Courtney- A Shero's Journey From Being Broken to Being Blessed!

“The “make up” of Courtney M. Hawkins is that of one, who through sheer strength of will, finds a way to live through it all! From brokenness to blessedness, Courtney’s testimony is nothing short of a miracle. She has reached a place in her  healing process to be a blessing to someone else.” -Pastor Darrell L. Fairer Faith Bible Tabernacle, Buffalo, NY

Courtney Hawkins

We all are on a life journey, and Courtney takes us on one of healing, redemption and growing from being Broken to Being Blessed. “Dr. Courtney" new memoir, The Make-up of Me: Embrace Your Natural Beauty is one every woman going through the journey of rebirthing and unmasking oneself should read. She shares how she healed with the grace of God and his mercy. She broke from the the bondage of self-hatred, guilt, self-hatred, guilt, shame, incompetence, depression, anxiety and thoughts about suicide. Her words will inspire you, encourage and motivate you to love yourself.

1.      Courtney, I would first like to thank you for allowing me to the opportunity to write an article about you. Could you give the readers the make-up of Courtney?

“Dr. Courtney” is a woman of passion, perseverance and vision. Her purpose is to coach and assist the broken hearted through their delivery and healing process. She is a Minister, Author, Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, Mental Health First Aid Trainer, Life Coach and Public Speaker.

“Dr. Courtney” is admired for her strength, courage and willingness to be very transparent about her flaws with hopes others may feel freed to embrace their own.  Her very straight forward and straightforward approach has her dubbed as the Dr. who’s “A tough pill to swallow”.

1.      What spark the idea to write a memoir and share your life story?

As an overcomer who has endured same-sex molestation, rape and a survivor of a fatal car accident that claimed another’s life, I understand how it feels to be broken. As a result, of these events, I was filled with self-hatred, guilt, shame, incompetence, depression, anxiety and thoughts about suicide.

Tired of hiding and determined to break free of mental and emotional bondage, I chose to surrender my fears and do the work necessary to live an abundant life. I selected to accept the transformational power of forgiveness, grace and mercy for my life which is legally bestowed to me as a child of God, and now I continually practice self-love while embracing my flaws and all.

This book is an eye into my diary of healing. I wanted to chronicle my life through my memoir while being optimistic that others would read it and uncover vital insights that will guide the reader into embracing their natural beauty. Also, with hopes that the reader will discover within the pages the written keys that will unlock their truth that can support them in setting themselves free.

2.      Share a little about The Make-up of Me: Embrace Your Natural Beauty and why you chose that title?

Generally speaking “Makeup” has been used for countless generations to make oneself more attractive by masking their imperfections and flaws.  Flaws and blemishes can be an embarrassment to many people.  Because many of us lack the courage and confidence needed to accept and embrace our flaws we misrepresent ourselves by covering them with masks.

I chose to name the book “The Makeup of Me: Embrace Your Natural Beauty” because I wanted to remove my mask and expose myself so that others who witnessed my trials and tribulations would also know of God’s healing power.  I wanted to share my story so that others would be freed to embrace their flaws and share their own stories. 

3.       4. What words of encouragement would you like to share with women who are in the rut of life and feel like they will never recover?”

Here’s an excerpt from her Memoir The Make-up of Me: Embrace Your Natural Beauty and why you chose that title and Chapter “EMBRACELET.”

“Embracing the truth and letting go of the lies that I told myself was a process for me and remains a practice that I continue on a daily basis.  Just as I accept brand new mercies and grace for myself daily, I also make a conscious effort to embrace something positive and let go of something negative.   What lies are you telling yourself that you should let go of?  What truths do you need to embrace?”- Courtney M. Hawkins

Here are a few to consider…

Embrace                                                                Let go of

I’m fearfully and wonderfully made                  I’m flawed and imperfect 

I’m more than a conqueror                                I’m not enough

I’m unconditionally loved by the King                No one loves me

4.      What have you learned (or still learning) since being in the business of self-publishing?

 I’ve learned to trust myself and believe in my abilities. That with God’s guidance I can accomplish things that I didn’t know I was capable of doing on my own.

5.       Tell me a little about your company Broken Branches, Inc.?

 Broken Branches Inc. Provides a wide range of programming that pertain to an individual’s mental health.  Our Mission is to comfort those who mourn, restore healthy relationships, and increase mental health awareness in our communities with the hope that individuals live a more healthy, abundant and productive life.  Our Motto: Lean on us for your Life, Health, and Strength!

6.      Lastly, if you had to choose one person living or dead who would you like to have a dinner with?

I would love to have dinner with Karyn Washington. Karyn was the beautiful visionary behind the encouraging and uplifting website, Forbrowngirls.com.   She created the forum to celebrate the beauty of darker shades of brown skin, to encourage women to embrace the skin they’re in. At just the age of 22, while finding it difficult to grieve the loss of her mother Karyn committed suicide.

I wish I were able to comfort her during her time of grieving.  I wish I could’ve told her that she can lean on me for her Life, Health and Strength. 

 You can follow her on FaceBook: https://www.facebook.com/Voniquedesigns

Thank you for allowing me as well as so many women share in your journey tragedy but teaching us to see that each struggle, each life changing journey is God's road map to your true purpose.  

Share:

SUMMER'S HOPE: LATOYA MURCHISON

LaToya Murchison was born and raised in Southern Pines, NC and started writing poetry as a junior in high school.  LaToya found that writing allowed her to be creative and eventually discovered her interest in becoming a published author.  After graduating from high school and uncertain of her career path, she attended and received an Associate Degree In Office Systems Technology from Sandhills Community College in Pinehurst, N.C.

LaToya’s life has been filled with very colorful people and experiences. With the stress of battling health issues and the loss of loved ones in her life, LaToya found writing provided her with a source of therapy and healing. LaToya serves as Media Director and Children’s Ministry Assistant at Love Grove Free Will Baptist Church.

courtesy of www.latoyamurchison.com

Imani: Welcome to the Lounge. Let's start off with a simple icebreaker and begin with your story, just who is LaToya Murchison?

LaToya: Hi Imani and thank you for having me as a guest in your Lounge. I would describe myself as being seasoned and I say that because I am a mixture of many different things. I am a woman of God, a daughter, sister,  author, poet,friend, aunt, and caregiver to many.My passion is helping to build up and inspire others in everything that I do.  My life has not been easy and I have experience a lot of hurt, lost, pain, and sickness. The one thing that remined the same is God’s love for me. For most of my life dating back to when I was a young child I spent a lot of time in and out of hospitals and doctors offices. They never were really able to tell my parents what was wrong with me. At the age of 18 the doctors gave me what they thought was a death sentence and stated that I would not live to be 25 years of age. Little did they know God turned that death sentence into a life that I am still living almost 20 years later.  My hope is that God continues to use me as one of his chosen vessels to speak to his people about how good he is, and that he allows my life to be a living testimony.

Tell us more about your latest project. What's the inspiration behind this book?

My latest project is called Poetic Expressions which is a collection of poems that I have written over the years. Some of the poems are from my own personal experience and the rest family and friends asked me to write. For example the poem called Grandma was written on behalf of my sister after her grandma passed a few years ago. She asked me to write something that showed how much she loved and missed her. My sister is actually the one that pushed me into publishing this project because she said they needed to be shared with the world. She tells me all the time that my heart come out and shines through everything that I write.

Briefly, explain what makes your book different from the vast choices in the same genre?

What makes my book differentbfrom others in this genre is simple. They are my personal experiences and conservations that I had with others. My inspirational poems are my personal consetvations with God.

What were the challenges of writing this book?

The only challenge with writing my latest book was choosing which poems I wanted to include in the book. It was important  tomake sure that each poem fix my message and there was something everyone could relate too.

Everyone has a testimony and usually, that testimony is linked to some type hope. So, what’s your definition of this beautiful word?

At the age of 18 doctors stated that I would not live to see the age of 25. With God’s continue grace and mercy over my life I will turn 37 years old on August 2. Over the past few weeks my health has fallen but the hope that I have in God is what keeps me going. Hope is knowing that God has not given up on me and he has allowed me to live far longer than the doctors quoted to me. Hope is knowing this is just the beginning and not the end. Hope is knowing that though God’s I am healed and delivered because of his love, daily grace and mercy.

Tell me your hope in a few sentences.

My hope is that through sharing my past and present with others will encourage them to stand tall and walk into their futures knowing the best is yet to come. My hope is to be able to keep smiling and trusting in God no matter what I may face. My hope is to keep standing and shining when others say I should just give up.

Professionally or personally, where do you see yourself in five years?

In the next 5 year I see myself finally having my non-profit organization up and running which is called REACH Community Services. REACH Community Services is a organization that offers help to all persons in need. It was established with caring people, with innovative programs to empower men, women and children. We strive to inspire, enable and educate young people from all backgrounds and circumstances to realize their full potential as productive, responsible and caring citizens. REACH stands for (Respect*Encourage*Assist*Commit*Hope). I also see myself as a nationally known author who travels the world empowering and encouraging others.

Share with us, your motivating song that gets you going?

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow by Kelly Price

A Praying Heart

Excerpt:

Jesus

You woke me up this morning to have a better day. Instead of praising you I disobeyed you and at times I am not sure what I am supposed to do. The sound of your name rings in my heart and I hope that it never stops.

Lord I pray that you forgive me for all my sins. Forgive me for passing judgement on others. Teach me to have forgiveness in my heart for those who have mistreated me. As you lead me to the riverside to leave all of my trouble behind. I look to the future instead of my past. Thank you for blessing me with the talent to express my feelings through your loving words. Lord it took me a long time to realize my gift now that I have I promise to use it to uplift your people. Thank you for teaching me that I had to fall before I would be able to walk and stand tall. Lord thank you for being the lover of my soul and the joy in my life. When I was down you allowed me to sit on your shoulders until I was able to get up and stand on my own. Lord with all that I am I offer up this prayer today and every day to come in. You precious name. Amen

Find Latoya at these sites:

Instagram

Facebook

Twitter

Share:

FAITH: THROUGH THE HEART AND MIND OF KANDISE CARLISLE

You might not have heard of Kandise Carlisle but I guarantee after reading this interview, you'll want to know more about her. 

This Alabama native developed her love of writing at a young age. In fact, her imagination grew strong enough to author her first novel, Open Heart with Closed Eyes, receiving outstanding reviews on Amazon. But this mother of two have many layers to her talent -- playwright, fashion designer, praise dancer, and businesswoman. Fortunately for Carlisle, the God-given gifts she been bestowed are only the beginning; 2015 will be full of surprises in the literary world. 

Kandise's sheer will should be an inspiration for "dreamers", proving it's never too late to grow up and be what you want to be. 


Imani: Today, The Lounge has a special New Year's treat. Joining me is author, playwright, and fashion expert, Kandise Carlisle for this one-on-one interview. Welcome Kandise, tell the readers about yourself?

Kandise: Thank You so much for giving me the opportunity of having this interview with you it's an honor. Well...Imani, who is Kandise? Kandise is a daughter, mother of two beautiful daughters, a sister, aunt mother-in-law and great friend. Humble, love God and family, a go-getter when I put my mind to something I go hard at it making sure that it's complete the way it should be. A writer, dancer, fashion lover and love to encourage others to go after what ever it is that they want to do.

When was that "ah-ha" moment you knew you were a writer?

I found my nitch for writing as a young child in the third grade. I would take a pen and begin writhing out plays I would let my teacher look at what I wrote she loved it. We begin to act out the play that I wrote so I would say it started with me in elementary school.

What's your writing process? Do you outline by chapter, or just go with the flow and write?

I just go with the flow Imani. Once I see the characters in my head and have that visualization of what's going on I get that paper and pen and begin to write.

From what I read of your work, you are immensely talented. Where do you find the inspiration to write such eloquence?

I find inspiration from personal experience, pain, joy and being a survivor. Each day driving in and outside of Alabama I see, hear and meet so many people with all types of issues. I can't help but be inspired to change a life through my writing.

Tell us more about your book, "Open Heart with Closed Eyes". What's the inspiration behind the story and its characters?

Open Heart with Closed Eyes was very touching to me. Even though it was six characters all having their own personal issues Sharon and Darryl were the main characters. Sharon, feel in love with a marry man not only did this successful woman fall in love with this man she became pregnant by him. These six characters had to go through something, but what happen God coms in and take place in their lives. What inspired the readers is that God reveal his self in this story. They all had to go and repent asking for understanding and help. The had to go back to a place where they left and that was the church. This book starts out hot, juicy and messes, but in the end God got the glory.

"Each day driving in and outside of Alabama I see, hear and meet so many people with all types of issues. I can't help but be inspired to change a life through my writing."

Now I understand one of your goals are to open a boutique for petite women, tell us more about that.

WOW!! this was nothing but God. KUBBS Fashion was create in March 2014 and in November 2014 God open a door of opportunity for me to be able to put my cloths in a beauty shop. I now not only shop and sell to petite woman but plus size women as well. Right now I share space in the beauty shop with another young lady that does jewelry and I do the cloths and shoes. But with Faith and continually prayer God will allow me to have a building of my own. I feel that all woman of size should feel and look beautiful in their clothing. If KUBBS could touch one petite or plus size woman and make them feel good and walk with confidence KUBBS have done her job. Just to let you know KUBBS stands or Kandise Unique Books and Boutiques.

Your faith is first and foremost in your life, and it shows in your work. But I'm fascinated with your other gift -- praise dancing. How did you discover this craft, or did it discover you?

Yes!! My love for dancing is like a high. I love it dearly it started with my mom she was a dancer she loves it and at the age of 88 she stills likes to dance. It plays a big part in my family. I was a dancer in high school in the band so that's something that I have in me dancing on all types of level to music. But praise dance is something more of a love to me the church that I belongs to I visit it one Sunday twelve years ago. They had these young ladies to come out and praise dance I was in awww when I saw up there dancing. I visit three more times and on the fourth time I join the church became a part of the dance ministry. As of March of this year I became the leader working under me I have to co-leaders and about thirty dancers ranging from 4-50 I have five different groups so I'm putting dances together just about every week except for the mimes dancer.

"I feel that all woman of size should feel and look

beautiful in their clothing. If KUBBS could touch one petite or plus size woman and make them feel good and walk with confidence KUBBS have done her job. Just to let you know KUBBS stands or Kandise Unique Books and Boutiques."

Where do you see your writing career going in five years?

See my writing career going to another whole level of being all over. Not only will you be able to purchase my book from my website, but stores even in my clothing store you will be able to purchase my book. I will be connecting with two other ladies getting our business going to you will be able to get books from there as well. I not only see it selling in the states but outside of the states as well.

What are "Kandise Carlisle's" literary plans for 2015?

My writing goal is to reach a broader audience. As an author I want to appear to all readers from various cultures, background and race. Writing is universal and my goal is to touch various souls.

On a relaxed note, if you were to plan a dinner party and invited three distinguished guests (living or not), who would they be and what one question you would ask of them?

Cicely Tyson- How do you prepare yourself for the roles that you play in movies?

Luther Vandross- Would you still be writing and singing love songs are retired from it now?

Denzel Washington- How do you stay so sexy? lol

You can google me for my website at www.kubbspublications.com

kandisecarlisle@gmail.com

facebook.com/KUBBS Fashion

twitter.com/kanuniquewriter

facebook.com/AuthorKandiseCarlisle

authorden.com/kandisecarlisle

Thank You again Imani for having me.

Thank you, Kandise. Have a happy and prosperous New Year.

Share:

Danica Worthy: The "It" Factor

Have you met someone and you knew instantly they had “it”?

I’m not talking of a "Beyonce-it" or "Halle Berry-it"; but the type of “it” that moves you through words – touching down to the bare soul. I’ve read lots of inspirational works written by some of the best, and yet not one has ever spurred an immediate reaction of researching the author. Of course I wasn’t surprise to discover her surname was “Worthy” – a perfect name to this galvanizing writer.

I also had the pleasure to finally chat with this talent on the phone. We have talked of everything from: our work, to family, and to life in general. Our 90 minute conversation was more than a business call, but a relaxing conversation with two women sharing a common thread.

Imani: Danica, I'm so honored you have accepted the invitation to join me in the Pink Lounge -- welcome. First off, let me ask the question I ask all of my guest: What makes Danica Worthy the woman who she is today?

Danica: Great Question. I am a woman who has and will continue to transform. My life's experiences, family and those I've come in contact with all play a role in my womanhood. I hold many roles and each one I take seriously. I like to think that I AM another one of God's beautiful unique creations taking the world by storm.

Imani: With all of your distinguished titles: motivational speaker, substance/mental health counselor, spiritual counselor, and author, I'm interested of how spiritual counseling became a part of your journey, and what does a spiritual counselor actually do?

Danica: My grandmother was a spiritual counselor and I believe this gift was passed down. A spiritual counselor is one with great listening abilities who's objectives may be to help others define life's purpose, overcome obstacles, connect with their inner spirit, and or to define what spirituality means to them. It really is a personal journey that I am allowed to help guide someone on.

Imani: That's a powerful gift. So this innate ability has lead you to where you are today. As I've learned, some people are born with it and some aren't. Do you agree?

Danica: I believe we're all born with this gift some are in tune with it instantly, some are taught to tap into their inner spirit, and some never find it.

Imani: From what I read of your work, I say you are one of the most prolific writers I know. Having said that, at what age you knew you were a writer? And how did it lead you to write such motivating and inspiring work?

Danica: I began writing approximately the age of 14 in journals. I was writing as a means to express myself freely without judgement or getting into trouble (lol). Writing has always been a safe haven for me I could say what I wanted without reprimand. When I began to share my work and saw how it made others feel it led me into writing not only for myself.

Imani: Now you have recently had to face a challenge that many women face some time in their life, which is Breast Cancer. Share with the readers, not how you felt when you heard the diagnosis because it's pretty obvious hearing "cancer" and your name in the same sentence is like synonymous with "fear and anger"; but share how it changed you as a person, and the way you view the world now?

Danica: I was changed in how I looked at life. I realized what I knew as life could be over and I had not even touched the surface of fulfilling my life's purpose. I had lost friends who had suffered from the disease and I wanted to bring awareness to not only cancer but other issues as well. This experience taught me that awareness is a vital component when it comes to our health, treatment, funding, and resources.

"I realized what I knew as life could be over and I had not even touched the surface of fulfilling my life's purpose."

Imani: Physically, how are you feeling to this day?

Danica: I affirm that I am 100% healthy everyday. I believe as I develop that mindset my body will eventually follow. I have had many health challenges and have had to incorporate radical self care. I'm loving how we can visualize a thing and soon it will immediately follow.

Imani: Let's change the subject a bit, and talk about the anthology you have collaborated with other talented authors: Deidra DS Green, Tammie T. Bell-Davis, and Jamila Gomez. Tell us more about this project, and how did the ladies and you made this idea into a reality?

Danica: I met these ladies via social media and we were a fan of each other's work. As we began to build relationships, we wanted to put a project together at the conference call; we all agreed on the subjects Cancer/ Bullying. We all had been directly or indirectly affected by both.

Imani: Have you been a victim of Bullying? If so, did it ever create a self-conscious within you and how did you turn it around?

Danica: Yes! I chose the route of being a peacemaker or agreeing with everyone to stay safe. What I realized through awareness is that there are many types of bullying i.e. workplace, cyber, indirect, or mental. How I began to turn that around is by exposing the party involved. Bullies hide behind their toughness, and titles. When I mastered the art of becoming aware I understood that I can change anything.

 Imani: Our journeys are filled with the unexpected -- the highs, the lows, and at times wanting to succumb to the adversity and give up; but not you. Where do you find the strength to pursue your dream, despite life's challenges?

Danica: I believe I get my strength and resilient spirit from my mom. After experiencing loss after loss, health issues, depression I had to ask God for mental fortitude. I utilize all the tools I've accumulated over the years to get me through when I come face to face with challenges.

"After experiencing loss after loss, health issues, depression I had to ask God for mental fortitude. I utilize all the tools I've accumulated over the years to get me through when I come face to face with challenges"

Imani: As an artist, we have muses and person(s) we admire help shape our craft. So, who is your inspiration and if they were here now, what would you say to them?

Danica: Wow my dad and my grandmother. I would tell them thank you for their love, wisdom, and guidance. I would tell them that even though they're not physical here I have apart of them in my heart.

Imani: Tell us one thing you haven't shared with your readers. It can be a quirk, a favorite food, or a hidden talent. The floor is yours.

Danica: I am very shy so I created a alter ego to get me through those trying moments when the shy anxiety creeps up. I also think I was a comedian and singer in my past life lol.

Imani: Now on a relaxed note: If you were to plan a dinner party and have extended the guest list with three legendary figures (living or not), who would they be and what one question you would ask them?

Danica: I would invite Marvin Gaye, Maya Angelou, and Goddess Isis.

I would ask Marvin his thoughts on the world today.

I would ask Mother Maya for one wisdom nugget to carry me through my journey.

I would ask Goddess Isis for one ancient Egypt secret.

Imani: Finally, what future projects do you have in store?

Danica: I will be releasing my book Suffering In Silence as well as a ebook of Affirmations. I will be expanding my brand to further empower women to live a fulfilled life holistically with a voice that roars.

Imani:  Danica, as we conclude the interview, tell the readers where they can purchase, The Sisters' Fight, and your other work, as well as finding you on the web?

Danica: You can find me on:

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/DanicaInspiresTheInspirationalist?ref=bookmark 

Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/danicaworthy 

My website www.danicaworthy.com is forthcoming.

Share:

5 WAYS TO STAY MOTIVATED DURING SEASONAL CHANGES

By Danica Worthy

With all you've been through are you looking for ways to stay motivated? 

If so I have developed some tips that will help you navigate through your life's journey.

We have approach a new season this year; autumn. A time of full maturity,  or it's early decline. During this season the atmosphere changes it's appearance allowing one to appreciate a different type of beauty.

Gazing upon natures new aura take a moment and think of the changes you have experienced over the year. You may be moving to a new job, launching a new business, or restructuring an existing one. Whatever the project is it takes time and effort and along the way you can and will lose motivation.

So here is how I've been able to stay motivated as season changes and obstacles come.

1. Find your passion= Finding your purpose.

I can't say this enough find what your most passionate about doing and DO IT. The thing that brings you the most euphoric joy when your in the midst of it. Ask yourself how does doing what I love empower me and those I come in contact with. Finally ask yourself what tangible benefits will I see by doing what I love.

2. Build your confidence muscle.

This is a big one not everyone was born with the solid I am the bomb diggity muscle. Look in the mirror daily and feed yourself with positive affirmations this is a great way to believe in yourself and silence the negative enemy in your mind. Conduct a life assessment review all the things you've been through,  you will discover a strength bridge that brought you over.

3. Keep gaining experience.

As you conduct your life audit become aware of your skill set. What are you an expert at? Learn your skill by doing whatever you desire to do get out there and do it. Don't wait for opportunities create them and watch opportunities find you. Take courses that will expand your knowledge and invest in yourself.  I almost forgot connect with what resonates with you.

4. Build a support system

Connections are great when they leave you feeling empowered, inspired, and ready to take action. Find those who have been where you're trying to go and build a relationship.  Bring something to the table because in any relationship you must give and not only take.

5. Take joy in your journey.

With all your plans and dreams don't forget to experience joy. Have fun knowing that all roads lead to opportunity and more creation. Detach from how you think things should be and just enjoy the ride.

Connect with me on facebook for more post like these https://m.facebook.com/DanicaInspiresTheInspirationalist?ref=bookmark

Danica Nichole Worthy was born and raised in Rochester, NY. She is a spoken word artist, poet, writer, motivator, and inspirationalist. Danica was created to inspire others to excellence. A counselor specializing in substance abuse/mental health and spiritual counseling, she is a Humanitarian, and a member of several charitable organizations. Danica N. Worthy has been writing since the age of fourteen. Her messages are of hope, love, and the ability to succeed inspite of your circumstances. Danica has co-hosted "Straight to Truth", blog talk radio show, focusing on on relationship building. Worthy is currently working on a poetic anthology, her debut novel, and a book of inspirational poetry.  

Share:

I Bend, But I Don't Break!

I once have had,

and now it’s gone

You can’t bring back

yesterdays,

or cry what has been

Echoes of old laughter

flood my mind

Despite the swelling feelings

brewing inside

Choose to run or hide

but I hold my head

up high..,

I smile

Stretchin’ that dollar

from fifteen cents

for bills

for food

for clothes

and yet sometimes

you just don’t know

when the unexpected

happens

Still, from all it said and done...

I smile

How can someone smile

despite waking to clouds

of uncertainty?

Staying optimistic when the rain

won’t stop,

or hurried winds sweepin’ your mood

How can anyone stay positive

when life is cruel?

Well, I don’t know ‘bout you,

but I smile

If darkness arise from nowhere

Lift your head unashamed

Weeping is temporary,

but joy comes in the morning

 You think you’re breakable

when in truth you only

bend

Straighten yourself up, my friend

and smile

How can anyone smile knowing

their life’s out of control?

Or question God’s intention

and significant role?

How can anyone continue to dream

when doors are jammed shut?

Or thing when goes awry and nothing

what it seems?

Or the proverbs of their words

taste bitter than sweet?

Yet there’s always a reason to smile .Nothing, no one, not even the worst of my enemies can stop the sunshine. I smile because I want to, not because I can. My smile represents my strength, my inner bond. It’s a shield against doubts, as well as signifying I’m charge of my life. As long as I have breath in this body, my defining moments will be the ones I create, and not the destructive thoughts from man. And that’s what freewill is about – making your choices. So, I choose a simplistic form of healing that never cost a dime; it’s effortless as you’re breathing right now – I choose to smile. 

©Imani Wisdom, 2013

Share:

How This Little Girl Coped With Awkwardness

I remembered being the shy and quiet kid in grade school that stayed to herself because being around people was an uncomfortable experience. My big, round head, skinny, iddy-biddy legs, and glasses with bifocals (yes, bifocals at five year old), didn't help my awkwardness. I got teased, horribly. And to add insult to injury, I had a speech impediment.

Yes, I was one of those students you would see in the movies who gets thrown in their locker; or get tripped by the class jocky-jerk in the cafeteria while carrying a tray of food; or become a victim of innovative name-calling (or joning, in my later academic years); or find herself isolated not because she wanted to, but because no one could connect with her. I mean, I even thought being left-handed was strange.

My escape from the cruel and unforgiving world at that time was my vivid imagination. Those very images of whatever or whoever was my solace, and safe to say, still is. But I’d often wondered the disconnect I had with others. Of course I had a friend or two, and then later in high school I hung with a small group of quiet and reserved students like me but not with the popular cliques. Looking back on it, I find myself in the midst of quiet company today. Perhaps I haven’t outgrown the awkwardness, just find it comforting.

This trend, if you want to call it that, frenzied through my adult years. The unforgettable twenties – a time period we thought we knew it all, and most likely tried to do it all. The unimaginable thirties, when life reminds you aren't twenty anymore. And of course, the forties, when you look back the last twenty years and ask yourself: “Did I really do that?”

For me when I look back and remembered the years of awkwardness, being uncomfortable in large crowds, or having me time like an event for the ages, I thought they were antisocial tendencies, a desire of not wanting to be around people. Then one day I read an interesting article about the traits of introversion and career choices.

Introversion, according to the Free Online Dictionary, is the directing interesting inwards towards one thought and feelings rather than towards the external world or making social contacts, or the act of directing one’s interests or to things within self. However in Imani’s world: I don’t see people or conversations in black and white; I see everything as an in-between, straight-forward without small-talk, and yet sit back and quietly observe the minute details of living things: The way people carrying themselves; such as, speaking, their body language, and even how they blink.

23 Signs You’re Secretly An Introvert

Are You An Introvert Or AnExtrovert? What It Means For Your Career?

In retrospect, I've done all of those things, including daydream my way through twelve years of grade, middle, and high school. My introverted personality became an open door to many opportunities. Sounds crazy, but it has.

Another thing I've learned is the difference between shyness and introversion. Shyness, according to Susan Cain of Psychology Today, wrote, “Shyness is the fear of negative judgment, and introversion is a preference for quiet, minimally stimulating environments”. The vast misconception of these traits isn't unusual. I didn't comprehend the definitions until later in my adult years, and even then I had the notion of introverted-souls were creepy for the outlandish.

Quiet: The Power of Introverts

Now that I've reached the fabulous age of forty-two, I've come to terms of who I am. I’m a lot more than just a writer and storyteller, but been blessed with a unique personality. I used to ask God what was wrong with me: Am I a defect. Why do I feel ill at ease around people?

But you know, I had to stop questioning His intention and live life. My introverted personality was by far no accident whatsoever! And it also don’t matter what others think, but how I respond.

Wouldn't it be something else if I go back in time to that bighead kid with skinny iddy-biddy legs, and look into her heavily-lined bifocals to tell her she isn't strange or awkward. Then I will also add: Continue to daydream and act out those daydreams into stories with your dolls. Because you just never know, your imagination could just payoff. 

Share:

Beauty: From the Inside and Out

Our self worth—it’s that main ingredient that makes us strong and a better person. Without it, self-pity can tame our true selves. However there’s one question to ponder—why do we as humans allow our pain to define us?

The question looms in my debut novel (titled to be announced later) about my main character’s self-worth. She suffered many storms including years of domestic abuse—and when that chapter of her life had ended—she moved on but did the suffering as battered woman define her? The brutal beatings, the name calling, and the unwanted forced desire upon her spouse all left a burden in her heart for years. My character’s psyche—unknowingly—allowed one person’s act to define of who and what she was. And unfortunately, there are millions of women like her.

I won’t get into the details if my character’s strength has helped overcome her demons—you just have wait this summer until the release of my book. However, there are women you may know, or it could be you, or it could be me that has allowed our pain to define us.

Beauty is more than just wearing short dresses, Mac products, and Maybelline—beauty is an inner glow that shine of our confidence. It’s the ingredient that brews our self worth. We know we deserved to be loved and yet choose to stay in questionable relationships. Or become bitter from heartbreak because our pain is too great to love again.

Love is not supposed to hurt you, or strip you from your true self. Love is not meant to be used as a weapon for guilt and shame. Love shouldn't be used as rage, or inflate one’s person ego while leaving another in tears.

In essence, self worth doesn't discriminate. There are men that walk with prominent scars of abuse. Their invisible tears hide behind their pain, confusion, and guilt from their childhood, or suffered heartbreak from a woman’s bitterness all because she would rather hurt them before she’d get hurt. It’s a mere reciprocation of pain.

In a blog I wrote years ago about bitterness, anger, and pity—and how it would lead to heartache and pain. I've taken this quote from the text because it rings so true: We are KINGS and QUEENS of our destiny; the Authors of our own story, and the Painters of our canvasses. We can fight it, we can do it, and we can be it!

So, again, are you going to let your past define you, or learn from it to manifest it into the person you are meant to be?


Courtesy: Put A Wedge In It (Katrina Gurl, Inc). This blog is a must follow!

Share:

AN OPEN LETTER....

In a recent news story, MSNBC’s Melissa Harris-Perry recited a powerful open letter to Indiana’s Senatorial Candidate, Richard Murdoch toward the end of her self-titled show on his recent remarks of how it was God’s will for a woman to get rape and pregnant by her attacker. The video of Ms. Perry was so inspiring that I've decided to express the same sentiment. Yet my open letter is not to Mr. Murdoch but to a group of people that I've met during my lifetime—my attackers.

Dear Sad and Unfortunate Ones,

After going through years of counseling and prayers, I've come to terms as to why every relationship I've been in went awry; or why I end up in inappropriate affairs, or why I accepted being the second option, the backup, and the two a.m. booty-call. Every relational decision I've made, every tear I've cried, every how-did-I-get-into-this-situation rant, every self-loathing, suicidal thought and guilt, all stems back to you—the cowardly attacker.

However, I won’t give you the satisfaction of placing all of my bad choices firmly on you because the key word in this sentence is CHOICE. The backbone I should’ve grown to end that madness was a part of me. The only thing I place squarely on you is most likely you've been abused yourself—either sexually, physically, or suffered some type of neglect—but it doesn't matter. What you've endured on me, I didn't inflict on someone’s child—I didn't continue an ugly cycle of lifetime pain and mistrust. I'd chose to move on with my life the best way I knew how, despite carrying that shame and guilt. My personal hell was mine alone, but that was less I can say about you. Your choice was based on selfishness, and didn't give a flying fuck about the consequences.

But that wasn't what it was about, wasn't it? Rather, it was a few minutes of lust to sooth your pleasure. To make you feel superior next to my vulnerability. Just because you suffered abuse with the images of whomever had hurt you playing your head, you chose to inflict that same hurt on the defenseless. Releasing your anger and rage by fondling my sacred parts or elevating it by penetrating deep into my innocence--you flat out didn't care as long as you got it. Then after you reached your shameful point, you knew how much you've hurt me—the window to my soul was transparent. You went your way and I went mine, as if nothing had happened.

The salutation in this letter, however, is plural, and yet I’m treating this as one act because the guilt and shame I wore for years. At the tender age of eight I was confused with her inappropriate touch that left me wondering, this is wrong but why does it feel good? Then my confusion turned into fear two years later when he crushed any trust I had in men—and then that mistrust turned into self-hatred when I was sixteen…I became the train at a party.

So to you, Sad and Unfortunate people, please don’t take this open letter as pity. My words are my strength. Your few minutes of perversion only gave me temporary grief. I chose not to swim in your bullshit but gathered any strength I had to not let the past define me—or you define me. I chose to wake every morning and rejoice on the future; I chose writing as my therapy to blossom into something more; I’ve chosen happiness; I’ve chosen the free will God gave me to use my gift as awareness for lost souls like you—and more importantly, I’m choosing not to be the victim or just surviving but to thrive. I’m holding the keys now and not you.

Sad and Unfortunate one, this may come as a shock to you but I do forgive you. Though, I’m not doing this for your benefit but for mine. I have to free myself from your psychological bondage to love myself the way I should’ve done years ago. You, however, need to do the same to whoever hurt you. That person had planted your seed of a pedophiliac life. So I’ll ask you this, when will it ever stop? When will you fight those personal demons and stop the cycle? Although you cannot go back in time and return my innocence, you should rectify the wrongs by opening your eyes at you've created. At least facing them is a start and to understand what you've become.

As an author of Zion’s Road I do believe in second chances—everyone no matter how much they screwed their lives or to others—they, too, deserves a chance to get their life right. So, I’m going to leave it up to you with your thoughts and the past. There’s nothing you can do to me. I’m too empowered to even worry about the yesterdays because your selfishness didn't break me; it only strengthened me.

You see, I’m still standing.

Sincerely,

Imani Wisdom

Share: