NOT ANOTHER RESOLUTION BUT A S.M.A.R.T. GOAL

By Priscilla Danita Robinson

With the arrival of the New Year everyone has at least one resolution in mind.  However as the year goes on most people have either giving up their resolution all together or they have changed it to better fit their more realistic needs. I’m not trying to deter you from change I’m trying to get you to understand that the problem isn’t the resolution the problem is the plan. I recently learned about something called a S.M.A.R.T Goal and while I’m a be honest in saying I hated learning it at the time, when I sat down to really think about all the things I failed to complete the lesson wasn’t so bad. What I learned is that in order to ensure that I achieved my goal I had to have more than the goal itself. It’s not even that you need a plan because everyone has a plan. Your success lies in details. And that’s where the S.M.A.R.T goal comes into place.

S. Specific. This is the easiest of the steps for me because it is being clear about what you want. It doesn’t really matter if you goal is to stop smoking, start working out, find a better job or become more socially active. It’s your goal and it’s important because it’s the thing that you want to change/achieve for yourself.

M. Measurable. This is the part of the goal that lets you know you are your on the right path. Let's just say your goal is to become healthy. The measurable part would be in saying that you are going to progress from being able to exercise for 30 minutes to an hour.  This is also the step that you need to focus on what it is you already have to help you towards your goal. If you already have a gym membership or if you have videos or cookbooks.

A. Attainable. Measuring something and having it be attainable are completely different even though on the surface they look the same. When you’re making sure that it’s attainable you need to make sure anything needed for your goal to succeed is available. For example if you say you want to get in shape within 6 months you need to make sure that you have a workout routine in place or time to actually spend in the gym. For me this is the most important step because it’s the one that can either make or break you success.

R. Relevant. Making sure your goal is relevant to your life is the step that helps motivate you to stick with it. When ever you feel like giving up all you have to do is think back to why it was important to start in the first place. No more how small or big your goal is you had a personal reason for starting it and it's best to keep it in your mind.

T. Time Bound. Setting a realistic time for your goal to be completed. I say realistic because I have seen some people say that they went to jump from a size 20 to a size 6 in 5 months. I understand that there are some extreme ways that that could happen however you want to make sure that you set a time frame that is safe and allows room for minor set backs. Factor in what's needed and if you need to set smaller goals inside your overall goal to keep you on track. An example could be decreasing your cigarette intake by 2 every month. With an over all goal of quitting within 6 months. 

So that's the S.M.A.R.T Goal. I know that this article is all about breaking the New Year's resolution curse but this model can be applied to anything in your life. No matter what you wish to accomplish I wish you much success. 

Priscilla D Robinson is the Author of Love's Moodswings: The Discovery, the Choice, and the Surrender to Love. Her debut book is a collection of three short stories that focus on different forms of love. Recently she began the task of writing down what her mind showed her and thus began her writing journey. When she is not off in a dream world she lives in Connecticut with her daughter. Robinson is currently a student at the University of Bridgeport for a bachelor's degree in Human Service. Her favorite saying is “the sky is always purple somewhere in the world” which means anything is possible if you know where to look for it.

 Website:

https://m.facebook.com/PriscillaDanita?__user=1015815274

https://www.goodreads.com/priscilladanita

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What Do These People Know About Success?

Have you ever had – as one-time Queen of Talk would say – that “ah-ha moment’? Well mine felt more of a KAPOW between the eyes.

I was doing one of my morning rituals – reading from one of my favorite online newspapers, and low and behold, I became befuddled from the first line of an article – Success: What does it means to you?

As simple as this question may be, I knew I could answer it in one breath, but I couldn't. So I stared at the question, as though as my computer could reply for me – hoping anything would kindle a slightest idea or thought, but nothing.

I was so determined to answer this question that I prayed and meditated for an answer that would satisfy my heart. Then while doing my usual morning run it finally hit me – success should not be by its definition(s) alone. However, according to the Free Online Dictionary website:

1. The achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted: attributed their success in business to hard work.

2.

a. The gaining of fame or prosperity: an artist spoiled by success.

b. The extent of such gain.

3. One that is successful: The plan was a success.

4. Obsolete A result or an outcome.

These definitions are well and good, but it’s meaningless if it doesn't come from the heart. And that was the problem I had: No heart.

So I went to the wonderful, world of social media to ask others this same question. And the response I've received was tremendous. Here’s what some had to say:

From Facebook:

Ernie Eans says - Success to me means that I can wake up everyday and be able do what I want and need to do and be able to look at myself in the mirror and say Job well done at the end of the day!

Author C. Michelle Ramsey says - Success means that I am walking in the destiny that God has ordained for me. That each day I am making my difference in someone's life no matter how small it may be. It may come through a word of encouragement, inspiration and empowerment through my stories, or something that I did that affected someone. Success means that whatever, goals and dreams I have set for myself I am progressing towards accomplishing them.

Author Tamyara Brown says - I believe success is being able to support yourself financially but also be able to be blessing to someone else. Being able to still be humble no matter the awards or accolades while lending your hand of help to up and coming artist. Success means overcoming those days you cried, ate Ramen noodles and still persevered.

Gibran Tariq Ali says - After spending 35 years in some of the toughest prisons in the country, success, for me, is the acknowledgment that I survived some of the harshest conditions known to man and yet I never lost sight of my dreams.

Kat Blu says - Success for me means being able to live authentically, true to myself (my values, my convictions, my joys) without requiring a "thumbs up" from others to do it. It means prospering in a way that enriches my life and the lives of others (i.e, win-win) and leaving behind a legacy (no matter how small) that contributes to making the world a better place even after I've left this plane of existence. (Success also means the little daily efforts made to accomplish the above.)

Kai Kaiology Mann says - For me success means that I am living my life in the fullness there of. That I am able to be myself, not worry about the next person, run my own race, and know that I am doing all that I can do to live out my purpose.

Hasan Malik says - Success is the ability to be totally honest with yourself, realize your shortcomings, and the wherewithal to become a better you... Smarter, wiser, more in tune with the world around you, and use the accumulation of knowledge in past achievements and failures in order to master any endeavor or pursuit. A defeatist believes that the end or loss of something is a reason to give up... A forward thinking or success minded person believes that the end, loss or failure of something is a new beginning and an opportunity to perfect or do something better.

Author Angelia Vernon Menchan says - Success is staying true to the integrity of who I am and making a difference in the life of others. Every time a mentee says Ms. A thanks for being there and truly listening without judging, I'm successful.

Radio Host, Smooth Drama says - Success is being comfortable in your own skin and being able on the regular to appreciate all the blessings you have bestowed and been bestowed upon.

From Twitter:

@aothitis says - striving to spread love care and joy to especially the children and people of the world

@Chicki663 says - 2 me, success means being free 2 do what I love, creating stories readers love and getting financial benefit from my work.

However, Cheryl Wells- Gordon from Facebook said it best:

Success for me, is being able to look back and say, I accomplished everything I said I would! To touch those dreams that were so far away when I was younger. To have loved so much and have been loved by so many. Being able to remember the good, the bad and the ugly and what kind of person it has made me today. To the young people, success isn't only about money. It's what you have done to prosper in life.

After reading these great answers, I've come to my own conclusion about success. For me if you can wake up in the morning with no regrets, subject to failure; and yet back on your feet; look back on the past and understand it’s only the past; putting fear aside for new journeys; finding your happiness, learning to forgive, accepting responsibility, and making conscious and positive efforts to make changes in your life, then to me that’s success. 

So what about you? What does success mean to you? Share your answer in the comment section. Who knows I may repost or retweet it on Facebook and Twitter. 

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The Best Decision Ever...

Your path is your path; there’s no need to share it with those whose ideas and intentions create an unstable pavement in the road. – Imani Wisdom

As much as I tried, and as much as that voice whispers, that quitting could prevent the unexpected to come like a thief in the night and rob me of my joy. Relinquish any or all of my dreams for a lesser and simplistic life. Forget the late nights of writing while the rest of world sleeps; or sacrificing my fifteen cents, stretching it like a dollar to pay for editors, graphic designers, and a web domain. And building that brand? Nah! It’s merely a part of the Internet game. You know, just another narcissistic attempt for attention. I give-up on opportunity, and give-in to an undemanding, complicated-free life filled with regrets and bitterness.

Chuck Schumer, the Senator from New York, says: “Giving up even an ounce of precious freedom is a very serious thing to do”. The day when I felt my writing was becoming a chore, I’d shut the whole Imani’s-journey thing for one day to listened to my heart. And you know what it told me? I was a participant of someone else’s dreams and not mine. The routine I lived for a few years were robotic: do, move, work, write or read, and go to bed; do, move, work, write or read, and go to bed; do, move, work, write or read, and go to bed, and so on. If see you how monotonous this is, imagine how I felt toward writing – a chore!

For six weeks I’ve took the initiative to peel away from Facebook walls and Twitter timelines for a spirit renewal – actually, more of a swift kick in the butt back to reality – but nevertheless my “Zen” is back and my focus has returned to Pink Noire and my writing.

So why did I choose to stay away from social media? Simple, I was beginning to have a disdain toward the repetitive and ongoing posts: Buy my book links without pitching to the potential reader as to why we should buy the book, negative posts about whatever, political post about the same ole’ NOTHING, narcissistic and never-ending photos of whomever, and the shirtless and/or bra-less attention-seekers who take selfies in bathrooms that simply forget to straighten-up. And the trolls…those misguided, transparent, does not have anything else to do, in-need of therapy, trolls. After a while, the bull**** becomes so thick, you damn-near can smell the stench through the computer screen.

Another reason I had to step away is the fact I’m a loner. I tend to create my best ideas alone. Facebook and Twitter, and other social media are considered as community websites with walls and timelines filled with people’s thoughts. So even if I have never met my friends and followers, reading their joys, their lows, highs, and their bad break-up with Pookie can be overwhelming.

Please don’t get me wrong: I love the friends I’ve made online, and some have blossomed into beautiful relationships; yet my decision to separate myself had nothing to do with individuals but the entire culture of Internet-addiction as a whole.

So, let me ask you this: When you grab your smartphone, iPad, or log onto your laptop, where do you go first? Facebook? Twitter? Attachments are a fluffy term for addictions. I’ve been through my share of food, sex, and cigarettes as an addiction, but I’ll be dern if I’m going to have a compulsive desire for waste-your-time sites.

If you’re an author or Indie artists, I know you’re saying – you’ll still need social media to promote. Well, duh! Of course I do. But it’s how you spend your time promoting and what to promote. The constant posts and tweets of the same thing get old. Heck, I’ve been guilty of it, too. So much so I’d stopped tweeting and posting at one time.

Finally, the biggest and important reason why I’d stepped away is simply to recharge my state of mind. I’m a firm believer of one controlling their thoughts and how the mind is a powerful entity of the body. Have you ever heard of the term, if you think it, you’ll become it? Meaning, if you’re influencing your mind with negative thoughts: I can’t do this, or I can’t that game, instead of comforting your mind with positive thoughts, you’re setting up for failure. And, I, for one, refuse to succumb to such foolishness.

I am mother, author, business woman, and one hellva woman but what I’m NOT is an individual that needs to docu-drama my every step to success. My path is my path. If you want to walk it with me, that’s fine but do it for encouragement, building creative ideas, and unwavering support. The world is already chaotic enough without people of whom you’ve never met, only by profile pictures, wanting to tear the very fabric of your soul – your dreams.

Let the miserable, stay miserable. It’s their weakened mind that’s keeping them from living a fulfilled life. Don’t believe me? Stay online for hours and you too, will fall into the category of the “broken and miserable”.

I’m just saying…

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