KEEP YOUR HEAD UP, SISTA! - {*Unique*}'s MySpace Blog |
IN THE ARMS OF AN ANGEL
When I wake up every morning and see you by my side, I realize….with a tear in my eye….that I’m blessed. Not blessed because God created a unique being just for me, but blessed that you’ve given me a reason to wake to a new morning with a simple smile; nothing less.
Simplicity is what I like. You don’t have to try hard to prove anything to me. Your touches gently sway in me your arms, feeling the warmth of your skin and the beating of your heart is enough for me to exhale gratitude of pleasure.
I feel as though I’m in the arms of an Angel. Your love takes me beyond places only I can dream. Flying high among a cloudless fantasy; soothingly kissing me as if you were afraid to break me. But that’s okay. Your ways is another reason why I fell in love with you each and every God-given day.
My love for you isn’t anything I have felt before. Its goes well above an overwhelming feeling in the midst of my soul. Or those imaginary butterflies that swims inside and curl my toes. It’s when you’re not around, I feel my breath wants to cease because I can’t get you out of my mind. Your image, your sweetness, your aura…..Baby, you’re everything rolled into a pristine one. I’m your vividly blue sky and you’re my radiant sun.
I’m not material nor will I ever be such a strong woman that showing a little vulnerability will be going out of my norm. I want to share a softer side of “me”, but loving you dearly in my arms. I’m tired of being just a strong black woman; I want to be “a” woman who will always walk by her man’s side. Never walk ahead or lag behind.
These words are more than poetry; they’re my beautiful suffering I feel inside. Writing this….my emotions are suddenly painted before my eyes. You’re my Picasso painting; an artistic expression with glee. I mean what I say that I am truly blessed to wake beside, a beautiful Angel, next to me.
I hopelessly, deeply, love you, baby!
© Tamara “Imani” Wisdom
SHORT AND SWEET MOMENT FOR LENA
By her simple smile, under a STORMY WEATHER, she brought joy to so many. She asked us to BELIEVE IN OURSELVES when she continue to believe there was hope for society. She could sang with muppets and still never lost her jazzy step. And yet, this southern princess was more than a pretty face. She was a legend and quietly commanded her legacy in its place.
Yes, she's gone and flying high with the old Hollywood's best. Can you image the jamz session high above the clouds? Next time when you hear the thunder rocking the sky....You'll know why....It's the bass thumping sweet as Miss Horne scatting to a jazzy beat. Keep on Ms. Lady, your music, movies, and of course your smile will forever live on....
Now sleep, Ms.Horne your on back to her Heavenly home...
~Imani
WEIGHING THE POSSIBILTIES
There are many overweight people who are healthy and agile. Some can be 40, 50, or 60 pounds overweight with perfect blood pressure (120/80), low cholesterol, and free of diabetes. For me, seven years ago was physically a dark time. Being petite at 52, my weight reached my lifetime maximum nearly 250lbs. There were times that I walked in agony because of the weight overpowering my feet. Also, my heart used to beat so rapidly, there were moments I thought it would halt. Although I faced these life threatening challenges daily, I did nothing to improve my health. I just continued to not eat right and did little exercise. One day, my laziness and ignorance caught up with me, and nearly took my life.
In 1997, on a warm summer night, I began to experience a tingling sensation in my right arm. At first, I thought it could have been poor circulation, but through the night the tingling had turned into numbness. It had spread to my right leg and my right face. Whats going on with me, I asked myself Im only twenty-seven. Im too young to die. Obviously I was facing a situation that I knew it could be fatal. Instead of listening to my conscious to telephone for help, I tried to treat myself by administering ibuprofen. Ill take a little nap, I said, I should feel better when I wake up. So I waddled over to the couch and hoped for a better outcome.
Two hours later, I woke up to discover that I couldnt see out of my right eye. As soon as I stood up, I began to have an excruciating headache. I clearly remember grabbing the side of my head, then suddenly falling to the floor. As I laid there next to the cool floor vent, my oldest son, with compassion in his eyes, asked Mommy, are you okay? I wanted to answer, yet my mind couldnt transfer my words to my mouth. Then suddenly, I pointed to the phone. Phone! I slurred. My son quickly grabbed the phone and handed to me. As my vision nearly diminished I struggled to call my sister. Within twenty minutes, my sister, her fianc, and my father found me lying helplessly on the floor between the T.V. and the floor vent. The only thing I remembered before they took me to the hospital was my father carrying me to the car, and my children saying I love you, Mommy before my sister walked them five houses to my Grandmothers.
Minutes later, we arrived at the Emergency room. I was resting on my fathers shoulder in the waiting area, when out of the blue, a nasally male triage nurse called me to take my vitals. As I sat down, hed asked me question after question, as he took my blood pressure. At that moment, everything and everyone became a big blur. However the only thing I remember was the anesthetic smell, and the cold stethoscope inside my elbow. When the result of my blood pressure came on the monitor, I saw a grave concern on this nurses face. Are you having any numbness? hed asked. I shrugged my left shoulder, and peeped at the reading. It read: 200/118. The next thing I knew, I was wheeled immediately to the triage bed units. The details of this experience are very sketchy after I saw the Emergency room doctors. I can remember taking several tests which includes a CAT scan that did show that I had calcium deposit on my brain.
This particular experience had a tremendous impact on my life. Up until recently, I never learned what happened to me on that terrifying night. It was a mini stroke after all. Shortly after that night, I began to change my diet along with a daily walking plan. I admit changing bad habits isnt easy, but if its pertaining to your life physically and emotionally, its worth it. After two years of faithfully keeping this new commitment, I lost 110 lbs, dropped from a size 26 to a 12, and gained an abundance of self-esteem. I have kept this weight off for five years. Furthermore, going through this life altering experience, not only led me to change my physique, but showed me I could do anything I desire.
In 1997, on a warm summer night, I began to experience a tingling sensation in my right arm. At first, I thought it could have been poor circulation, but through the night the tingling had turned into numbness. It had spread to my right leg and my right face. Whats going on with me, I asked myself Im only twenty-seven. Im too young to die. Obviously I was facing a situation that I knew it could be fatal. Instead of listening to my conscious to telephone for help, I tried to treat myself by administering ibuprofen. Ill take a little nap, I said, I should feel better when I wake up. So I waddled over to the couch and hoped for a better outcome.
Two hours later, I woke up to discover that I couldnt see out of my right eye. As soon as I stood up, I began to have an excruciating headache. I clearly remember grabbing the side of my head, then suddenly falling to the floor. As I laid there next to the cool floor vent, my oldest son, with compassion in his eyes, asked Mommy, are you okay? I wanted to answer, yet my mind couldnt transfer my words to my mouth. Then suddenly, I pointed to the phone. Phone! I slurred. My son quickly grabbed the phone and handed to me. As my vision nearly diminished I struggled to call my sister. Within twenty minutes, my sister, her fianc, and my father found me lying helplessly on the floor between the T.V. and the floor vent. The only thing I remembered before they took me to the hospital was my father carrying me to the car, and my children saying I love you, Mommy before my sister walked them five houses to my Grandmothers.
Minutes later, we arrived at the Emergency room. I was resting on my fathers shoulder in the waiting area, when out of the blue, a nasally male triage nurse called me to take my vitals. As I sat down, hed asked me question after question, as he took my blood pressure. At that moment, everything and everyone became a big blur. However the only thing I remember was the anesthetic smell, and the cold stethoscope inside my elbow. When the result of my blood pressure came on the monitor, I saw a grave concern on this nurses face. Are you having any numbness? hed asked. I shrugged my left shoulder, and peeped at the reading. It read: 200/118. The next thing I knew, I was wheeled immediately to the triage bed units. The details of this experience are very sketchy after I saw the Emergency room doctors. I can remember taking several tests which includes a CAT scan that did show that I had calcium deposit on my brain.
This particular experience had a tremendous impact on my life. Up until recently, I never learned what happened to me on that terrifying night. It was a mini stroke after all. Shortly after that night, I began to change my diet along with a daily walking plan. I admit changing bad habits isnt easy, but if its pertaining to your life physically and emotionally, its worth it. After two years of faithfully keeping this new commitment, I lost 110 lbs, dropped from a size 26 to a 12, and gained an abundance of self-esteem. I have kept this weight off for five years. Furthermore, going through this life altering experience, not only led me to change my physique, but showed me I could do anything I desire.
TAKE CARE OF THAT MENTAL WEIGHT
This was before my constant walking, trying to eat RIGHT and suffering a mini-stroke. I had lost weight before. I lost 75lbs.
I wore a size 16. To some women, being a 16 is comfortable. For years, I was very comfortable w/ my body. Being five feet two, some say I was stocky, not obese. But others inside and outside of my family had an ongoing pressure for me to lose some weight.. That led me to some destructive behaviors.
One day at my former employer (the Post Office) a couple of ex co-workers mentioned about my size 16 frame. One explained that she lost all of this weight by eating one meal-a-day and worked out whenever she could. Now remember, I was naïve 20 something year old who thought every elder was right. So I tried her dangerous regimen.
I used my mothers standard bike. I rode the bike every day for 45 minutes. I also used her soloflex for toning and strengthening for 3 days a week. Sounds like I was doing everything right?........right? Nope! When a person is trying is trying to lose weight, although you are supposed to cut calories, you are supposed to eat. Back then, I only consumed one meal a day. Thats it
But I have to say, the pounds melted away like hot butter. Obviously, I was sitting on top of the world and no one could not tell me anything. UNIQUE THOUGHT SHE WAS DA BOMB! Yet, while I was feeling on this high, my joy was quickly exploding.
There was whispers at that job how I was soooooo skinny. There was rumors contagiously flying around the Post Office faster than the electronic mail. The first rumor: I had leukemia. The next rumor: I was doing drugs. But third and biggest and hurtful rumor: I had AIDS. During my breaks was my eating time. And when I did eat, I felt as though I was on stage in front of an audience. I have eyes on the left and right of me watching me what I eat and how I ate it.
But worse of all, the person who I thought love me for me made horrible fun at me. He would talk about my shriveled body during sex (When you lose weight fast like that, there will be hanging skin.). You would think I would be feeling good while we call ourselves having sweet sex, but it was sourer. This bombard of name calling and pressure had waned heavily on my self-esteem.
Some African Americans believes its unheard of that a black woman can become anorexic or bulimic. Well, its possible. I should know because I let unnecessary pressure and my ex-boyfriends infidelity get to me. I occasionally tried to purge most of my meals a year after I lost those 75lbs. That was a dangerous obsession. I didnt realize I was abusing my body until 5 years ago.
After that fraud of losing 75lbs, Greg and I splitting, and losing my job at the Post Office, I moved back w/ my sick mother. Self-pity spread my soul like cancer. I began to eat my ass off! My commitment and my self-esteem had deflated. I hated myself. I went from a dangerous DIEt to gaining all the weight back plus more.
The key to this story is crash diets do not work. NOT AT ALL. Nor trying to lose weight for reasons other than you is just as wrong.
It took me lose those 110lbs for two years and been keeping it off for 5 1/2 years. I may have gained 15lbs, but I refused to crawl under a rock and hide. Im still walking. But I have to re-train myself on portion controls. I will not lose these 15 or 20 lbs fast. I am not a celebrity that is supposed to walk on a red carpet. Not to sound conceited, but I love ME. Anyone who is losing weight, should love themselves too. Anyone can lose the weight on the outside, but take care of mental weight too. I put my body through so much to realize that.
I wore a size 16. To some women, being a 16 is comfortable. For years, I was very comfortable w/ my body. Being five feet two, some say I was stocky, not obese. But others inside and outside of my family had an ongoing pressure for me to lose some weight.. That led me to some destructive behaviors.
One day at my former employer (the Post Office) a couple of ex co-workers mentioned about my size 16 frame. One explained that she lost all of this weight by eating one meal-a-day and worked out whenever she could. Now remember, I was naïve 20 something year old who thought every elder was right. So I tried her dangerous regimen.
I used my mothers standard bike. I rode the bike every day for 45 minutes. I also used her soloflex for toning and strengthening for 3 days a week. Sounds like I was doing everything right?........right? Nope! When a person is trying is trying to lose weight, although you are supposed to cut calories, you are supposed to eat. Back then, I only consumed one meal a day. Thats it
But I have to say, the pounds melted away like hot butter. Obviously, I was sitting on top of the world and no one could not tell me anything. UNIQUE THOUGHT SHE WAS DA BOMB! Yet, while I was feeling on this high, my joy was quickly exploding.
There was whispers at that job how I was soooooo skinny. There was rumors contagiously flying around the Post Office faster than the electronic mail. The first rumor: I had leukemia. The next rumor: I was doing drugs. But third and biggest and hurtful rumor: I had AIDS. During my breaks was my eating time. And when I did eat, I felt as though I was on stage in front of an audience. I have eyes on the left and right of me watching me what I eat and how I ate it.
But worse of all, the person who I thought love me for me made horrible fun at me. He would talk about my shriveled body during sex (When you lose weight fast like that, there will be hanging skin.). You would think I would be feeling good while we call ourselves having sweet sex, but it was sourer. This bombard of name calling and pressure had waned heavily on my self-esteem.
Some African Americans believes its unheard of that a black woman can become anorexic or bulimic. Well, its possible. I should know because I let unnecessary pressure and my ex-boyfriends infidelity get to me. I occasionally tried to purge most of my meals a year after I lost those 75lbs. That was a dangerous obsession. I didnt realize I was abusing my body until 5 years ago.
After that fraud of losing 75lbs, Greg and I splitting, and losing my job at the Post Office, I moved back w/ my sick mother. Self-pity spread my soul like cancer. I began to eat my ass off! My commitment and my self-esteem had deflated. I hated myself. I went from a dangerous DIEt to gaining all the weight back plus more.
The key to this story is crash diets do not work. NOT AT ALL. Nor trying to lose weight for reasons other than you is just as wrong.
It took me lose those 110lbs for two years and been keeping it off for 5 1/2 years. I may have gained 15lbs, but I refused to crawl under a rock and hide. Im still walking. But I have to re-train myself on portion controls. I will not lose these 15 or 20 lbs fast. I am not a celebrity that is supposed to walk on a red carpet. Not to sound conceited, but I love ME. Anyone who is losing weight, should love themselves too. Anyone can lose the weight on the outside, but take care of mental weight too. I put my body through so much to realize that.
DANTE AND DHARMA, PARTS I. II. AND III
PART I.....
Young girl, young girl who are you?
You're sitting in the beauty shop while your
kids needs shoes
Young girl, young girl what did you day?
You teach your kids the Bible, but you inhale
sweet plants everyday
Young girl, young girl didn't you hear?
The silent cries of young ones wanting to hold
you dear
Young girl, young girl didn't you know?
Without you their tender mind won't grow
Young girl, young girl stop right now!
You need Christ in your life, so you ought to
kneel down
Young girl, young girl you reap what you sow
So stop right now or you won't get old
You'll die before your time from your one of
great sins
Repent young girl, repent before a horrific end © 1997
PART II.....
Kelly been gone for three days
Disappeared without a trace
Dante' and Dharma her children has a sadden face
At 6 and 4 tending for themselves in a roach infested
home
So cold, so hungry there just alone
Embracing one another, asking where's my Mommy?
Mommy been out doing her unspeakable hobby
Strung out on the devil drugs
Laying on a dirty mattress crawling with bugs
In a old abandon house on
222 Capitol Avenue
Half naked, veins were purple and bruised
Too high to realize that Dante' and Dharma need her
Those drugs had given her memory a blur
Kelly layed stretch out on the mattress for her next high
While Dante' and Dharma will be alone again tonight
Unique©
PART III...
It's Friday night, Dante' and Dharma Mommy body
had been found cold and stiff
Her eyes remained opened apparently she died from a
bad trip
Camera's flashing, people in blue uniforms head slowly shake
They're thinking, such a pretty girl young girl. How could a
life go such a waste?
She was wearing a locket of her children as they placed her
body in a body bag
Meanwhile, the people in blue went to her residence which the
sight made them quite sad
Dante' was eating stale bread on the dirty floor
Dharma was asleep inside the closet door
They were dirty, and oh so hungry
"Mommy? Where's my Mommy?" asked Dante' with a
sparkle in this eyes
The sight was sad it made grown men cry
The law took them to a special home. This time tonight
Dante' and Dharma won't be alone.
Unique ©
Young girl, young girl who are you?
You're sitting in the beauty shop while your
kids needs shoes
Young girl, young girl what did you day?
You teach your kids the Bible, but you inhale
sweet plants everyday
Young girl, young girl didn't you hear?
The silent cries of young ones wanting to hold
you dear
Young girl, young girl didn't you know?
Without you their tender mind won't grow
Young girl, young girl stop right now!
You need Christ in your life, so you ought to
kneel down
Young girl, young girl you reap what you sow
So stop right now or you won't get old
You'll die before your time from your one of
great sins
Repent young girl, repent before a horrific end © 1997
PART II.....
Kelly been gone for three days
Disappeared without a trace
Dante' and Dharma her children has a sadden face
At 6 and 4 tending for themselves in a roach infested
home
So cold, so hungry there just alone
Embracing one another, asking where's my Mommy?
Mommy been out doing her unspeakable hobby
Strung out on the devil drugs
Laying on a dirty mattress crawling with bugs
In a old abandon house on
222 Capitol Avenue
Half naked, veins were purple and bruised
Too high to realize that Dante' and Dharma need her
Those drugs had given her memory a blur
Kelly layed stretch out on the mattress for her next high
While Dante' and Dharma will be alone again tonight
Unique©
PART III...
It's Friday night, Dante' and Dharma Mommy body
had been found cold and stiff
Her eyes remained opened apparently she died from a
bad trip
Camera's flashing, people in blue uniforms head slowly shake
They're thinking, such a pretty girl young girl. How could a
life go such a waste?
She was wearing a locket of her children as they placed her
body in a body bag
Meanwhile, the people in blue went to her residence which the
sight made them quite sad
Dante' was eating stale bread on the dirty floor
Dharma was asleep inside the closet door
They were dirty, and oh so hungry
"Mommy? Where's my Mommy?" asked Dante' with a
sparkle in this eyes
The sight was sad it made grown men cry
The law took them to a special home. This time tonight
Dante' and Dharma won't be alone.
Unique ©
A KISS: THAT EXTRAORDINARY TALE
I wanna be kiss as if I'm being kissed for the first time
I wanna feel his soft lips onto mine
I wanna feel that electricity shoot through my spine
And feel a sincere pleasure; enough to make me cry.
One kiss is all that will take for me
That kiss that can make me quiver at my knees.
That kiss that make my body shiver all over me.
That one kiss that can put the world in slow motion.
That one kiss can cause my insides to melt like shimmering lotion.
Yeah, that one kiss that can says it all.
The kiss that cause you to forgive that you're big or small.
I wanna that kind of kiss
A kiss that's hard to miss
Something after first time; I won't ever forget
It's a kiss when I close my eyes I'm in a new realm
And after me kissing him I will not do a "kiss and tell"
Cause I'm not going to share….
This extraordinary tale
It'll just be between my lips and his
It'll be a tale of an extraordinary kiss
I wanna stop imagining this intensity..
And go after what's coming to me
That kiss that comes once in a lifetime
That will be ingeniously passionate and sweet.
And yet, a kiss can lead to other things.
But that don't have to be.
A kiss….oh that sweet kiss, is enough to be desired
Let's take a moment to enjoy this before we take it higher….
I wanna feel his soft lips onto mine
I wanna feel that electricity shoot through my spine
And feel a sincere pleasure; enough to make me cry.
One kiss is all that will take for me
That kiss that can make me quiver at my knees.
That kiss that make my body shiver all over me.
That one kiss that can put the world in slow motion.
That one kiss can cause my insides to melt like shimmering lotion.
Yeah, that one kiss that can says it all.
The kiss that cause you to forgive that you're big or small.
I wanna that kind of kiss
A kiss that's hard to miss
Something after first time; I won't ever forget
It's a kiss when I close my eyes I'm in a new realm
And after me kissing him I will not do a "kiss and tell"
Cause I'm not going to share….
This extraordinary tale
It'll just be between my lips and his
It'll be a tale of an extraordinary kiss
I wanna stop imagining this intensity..
And go after what's coming to me
That kiss that comes once in a lifetime
That will be ingeniously passionate and sweet.
And yet, a kiss can lead to other things.
But that don't have to be.
A kiss….oh that sweet kiss, is enough to be desired
Let's take a moment to enjoy this before we take it higher….
Founder of Pink Noire
Imani Wisdom
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